Stuff My Mom
Wasn’t Foolin About
Alexandra Beers
All my babies were accidents.
People in New York wear a lot of black because
everything gets so dirty there.
It’s between you and me.
You look better in earth tones than in the colder colors.
Mothers should go to work when their kids are little but
not as much when they have teens.
One should not wear gold with silver.
I drank like a fish when I was carrying
you—we didn’t know.
Fast food is shitty.
You should always wear clean underwear ‘cause you never
know you might get hit by a car.
Everyone should read Jane Austen.
Pulling your hair back makes you look too severe.
All men are babies.
An apple and a yogurt for lunch is enough.
Your father would never let me have short hair.
Intimacy is very important in a marriage.
I only want to be with you.
Sometimes I just don’t have
any strength.
I don’t understand poetry.
It’s hard to remember all the details of raising kids, but
I’m pretty sure it was fun.