Baby Mama
STANDARD
“There are right times and right places an
many more wrong ones, and pare
We’re trying to get out of an overcrowded
Harvard Square on a morning when street and
building construction is blocking half the lanes,
and every traffic light is conspiring against
us. Earlier, it took us forever to get all four kids
packed up and out of the hotel room, and now
we’re running late. My husband Rob—always the
family’s designated driver—is tense, frustrated
by the slow pace and the mass of cars between us
and where we want to go.
Finally, finally, we break out of the worst of
the snarl and onto a road where our rental car
can actually pick up some speed. Rob breathes a
sigh of relief.
And then it comes: “Uh, Dad?” our second
oldest says. “I’m really sorry but I just realized I
left my backpack at the hotel.”
Rob’s jaw clenches; his eyes blink rapidly. But
all he says is, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, sorry. It has all my school stuff in it—
we have to go back.”
My husband sighs. “I’ll turn around,” he says
wearily. But just as he starts to pull over—
“April Fools’!” Johnny cries, and we all echo
him, exploding with previously stifled giggles.
Rob laughs along with us (admittedly more out
of relief than amusement) and we continue on our
way, much more merrily.
At some point Johnny points out that April
Fools’ Day should be called “Torturing Dad
Day” in our family, and we all start laughing
again. It’s not that we never play jokes on other
members of the family—it’s just that the most
satisfyingly successful ones occur when we tap
into my slightly pessimistic husband’s anxieties.
Like the time I came running in to say our
daughter was running a fever and vomiting (she
wasn’t); or the time Johnny called home from
college to say he’d changed his major to the
one his father had earlier begged him not to (he
hadn’t); or the time—
Well, you get the idea. It amuses us far more
than it should to put Rob in pain for a moment or
two before revealing it’s all a joke. Fortunately,
the man seems to appreciate how successfully
we nail him every year—he is, after all, a
professional comedy writer.
Since April Fools’ Day almost always falls
during the kids’ spring break, we’re usually all
together when the big joke is played, and it’s
kind of lovely. Humor is like glue: it holds a
family together. Nothing is more bonding than
laughing together or delightedly taking turns
riffing on an absurd scenario.