Baby Mama
STANDARD
Femme Funtales
By Nicole Blaine, Comedy Chieftain
finding parenthood painfully funny
My Baby’s
Play Date
With a Ghost
N
othing makes time stand still more
than when you’re stuck watching your
children go down the same slide for the
27th time. It’s like watching paint dry, while
simultaneously waiting for water to boil. To
survive the psychological torture of the park—
you know, the place where no matter how hard
you push your mistakes away from you, they
come swinging back to kick you in the face with
a pair of sand-filled Crocs—I typically arrive
by the middle of my day, 9:00 a.m. Right when
the dew on the slides can penetrate down to the
Underoos. I generally like to assess the scene for
a cool-looking parent with whom I can converse
so as to properly ignore my children.
Enter Amanda. Playground Left. Sunlight
bouncing off her hand-combed ponytail. Fashionforward sweatpants. Easily the coolest mom
at the park. I convince my littlest to eat the
sand near her kids so I can make my move.
Amanda is super-sweet. She tells me she makes