B4Y Mag Issue #17 May 2019 May 2019 Issue #17 B4Y | Page 90

The name game
I got a call from Splash maybe like 10 days later, after I’d left the message. I had
forgotten about it by then because I was doing my thing with this guy. An easy
$200 dollars a week. Awesome. But then I got the call: “Hi, this is Dougie, I’m
looking for Jack.” I’m like, “Jack?” He’s like, “Yeah, Jack Stark, I’m calling from
Splash.” It took me a couple of seconds to register that I had given them a fake
name. I had to play it off a little. He told me they wanted to try me out. “We’ll have
you dance for 15 minutes and see how people react. Let’s see what you got.”
So, I went in. I had no idea what I was doing. I got there at 9:00 PM. I was the first
guy there. I was wearing a shirt, slacks and my regular boxers. Dougie was this
tall, thin, blonde dude. He was openly gay. I thought I would just gyrate onstage for
a little, and that would be that. But then he whipped out all this paperwork and told
me he needed to see ID, so that everything could be properly documented. I real-
ized I couldn’t lie about my name much longer. I told him “Jack” was just an alias.
Obviously, I didn’t want to use my real name because I didn’t want my friends and
family knowing I was dancing in a gay bar. Also, my real name is ethnic and Mus-
lim. I’m not a religious man, but I could see how it might be a problem
Dougie was nonplussed. I mean, it probably happened all the time. So then we
just had a laugh about it. After about a month, I told everyone I knew I was doing it
anyway.
Wiggle, wiggle
After all the papers were signed, he had me go in the backroom to change. He
took one look at my boxers. “Those aren’t going to do.” They had this locker with
sealed underwear in it, kind of like a vending machine. If you’ve ever been inside
an adult novelty store on Christopher Street, they sell those there. I think the brand
name is actually “Gay Boy Underwear.” They’re literally booty shorts for men.
The thing is I have a huge ass. As soon as I put them on, Dougie flipped out. He
was like, “Oh man. This is going to be great.” Then, he pauses, “Can you dance
at all?” I’m like, “No, I can’t fucking dance.” So, he’s like, “Whatever. Just wiggle.”
“Don’t worry about it, just go up there and have fun.”
At that point, some of the other guys showed up. Everybody was super clean cut,
super clean shaven. It was like being on the set of Magic Mike times five. Every-
one was hairless. The other thing is, being an ethnic dude, I’m covered in hair. I
didn’t know whether that was gonna work for or against me.
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