B4Y Mag Issue #15 January 2019 January 2019 Issue #15 B4Y | Page 65

“I use Grindr and Scruff sporadically and it’s easier and quicker to meet people locally,
and sometimes people you might actually like. I use them in a way that I like: I can’t
actually meet these men, so when we can’t actually meet up, we just trade pictures
and ‘sext’, but I am culpable of leading men into fantasies as a defence mechanism,
because they approach me with penis in hand and muscle on display and I go weak at
the knees. I’ve made genuine connections through them, though most are platonic.”
Borderline adult
For some of us, our first sexual experience arrives early. While some are locked away
in their bedrooms immersed in a two-day Final Fantasy VII binge, stopping occasion-
ally to obsess over the abs on Baywatch (I may have given away my age here), others
are out there plucking their first fruit from the willy tree.
“My first sexual experience with a man was when I was 13 and I’d stumbled into the
world of cruising in public toilets a year earlier,” admits Leigh, 26. “For the first year I
had been mostly an observer and exhibitionist, sticking to the safety of the cubicles and
watching other cruisers wank off through the various spy holes. But a year later with
my sex drive at stellar levels I was ready for more. So my first sexual experience with a
man, although not penetrative, was me wanking off a guy probably twice my age under
a toilet stall. I understand that it may seem odd and actually horrifying to an outsider or
casual observer that a boy so young could be engaged in such clandestine and dan-
gerous activity with considerably older men, but I’m extremely confident with men and
especially sex, and consider myself adventurous and have no real issues with sex as a
result.”
“My first time was with a much older man,” says David. “I was 15 and he claimed to be
21 – it turns out he was 29. We met online and within an hour we were having sex in
the back of his car. It was probably not the smartest thing for me to have done, but by
pure chance, he turned out not to be a creep and we’ve actually remained friends ever
since. I think we make virginity out to be a much bigger deal than it is. We make mov-
ies about losing it, and tell kids that their first time should be special and ultimately I
think that makes people crazy. I’m totally happy with the way my first sexual experience
went and I wouldn’t change a thing.”
It’s not always such a pleasant experience however, as 18 year-old Quentin discov-
ered. “I was 14/15 and I started using Grindr. I spent a long time just looking – I didn’t
have a picture on there – but finally I decided to go for it and meet someone. I lived
in a rural area so it was quite a limited choice and it was about 45 minutes on a train
to meet this guy. I really wasn’t ready and I knew that as soon as I walked in his front
door. He was nice but I didn’t fancy him and I felt like I had to go through with it. It was
nothing too heavy, just kissing and blow jobs but as soon as I left his house and turned
the corner, I got sick. I just had this horrible physical reaction. I wish I’d waited.”
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