B4Y Mag Issue #14 December 2018 December 2018 Issue #14 B4Y | Page 127

The last time I saw this incredible guy Theo Ford was during the filming of Naked-
Sword’s Paris Perfect in France, back in September. You can read my recent interview
with Theo Ford below, we talk about various topics from filming Paris Perfect, being an
escort, his opinion on PrEP, and more.
Please introduce yourself, how old are you, where are you from?
This question always gets me… I find it so hard to describe myself. I guess one could
say I’m an Irish boy who’s never stopped venturing into the world and grabbing oppor-
tunities.
I was actually born in the south of France 30 years ago and never stopped moving and
travelling across the world. My home town is Waterford (hence FORD) in the south
east of Ireland. I had such a great childhood being raised in a private Quaker school.
Having a culturally mixed background (Irish, French, Moroccan) allowed me to have a
deep appreciation of diversity. I never truly feel like I belong anywhere; this can both be
a blessing and a curse. I live in London at the moment. I love this city for the phenome-
nal cultural and intellectual energy and the celebration of diversity.
What did you do during your year-long hiatus away from porn?
This long break was not planned at all. Before this hiatus I was working non stop at
such a crazy level. Spending more time on flights than at home. I had no “routine”.
Meeting my ex husband gave me the stability I was craving. It was during the Christ-
mas of 2015 that I decided to moveI to Sydney, mostly to please him. From that mo-
ment on things when from bad to worse. It took me a year and a half to gather the
courage to pick myself up again and look towards the future. During my stay in Sydney
I was able to write a lot and publish my pieces. I wrote many introspective short stories
based on the fluctuations of my emotional state through life events.
Could you please tell us more about depression?
Shortly after arriving in Sydney I separated from my husband. That left me alone on
the other side of the world. A deep depression took over my life to the point of loos-
ing 40lbs and becoming anaemic. I simply could not overcome the pain and sadness
of loosing the person I loved the most and who loved me back! I was in mourning for
things I had lost but also for things that had not yet happened and never would. Thank-
fully I had an incredible therapist in Sydney who truly helped me excavate my feelings.
Once the therapy ended I decided to come back to London. Partially thinking I was all
better I did not look for more therapy. I found out that this was a mistake. I ended up
in hospital one day after wanting to fall asleep to not wake up. I simply felt as if I had
reached the end of my story. Like there was nothing more of value to experience. By
that point the depression had had a warping effect on my perception of life. It was not
logical, it made no sense and life had become torture. This desperate attempt was in
some way a relief. Once the doctors revived me and allowed me to go back home I
felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. From this moment on I permitted
myself to be flawed, to be less than perfect, to be unwell. Things that were not possible
in my past frame of mind.
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