MON MARI , MON AMANT , MA VIE
Anne Francine Akiba
60
My husband , Charlie , is my angel . It ’ s been four years since he passed , and he surrounds me always . I feel him every day . It ’ s as though someone is touching me and telling me to be calm and that everything will be okay . I miss his touch , his hand on my hand . We were very affectionate . I loved when we would sleep together , and he would read until 4 in the morning and rub my back for hours . When he would stop , I would move my shoulders up and down to signal him to keep going . He would chuckle then .
When I lost him , it was like losing a limb . It felt like something was always missing . He was my baby , my son , the love of my life – “ Mon mari , mon amant , ma vie .” He was my big love . Many people say your lover has to be your best friend for it to work , but that wasn ’ t the case for us . He was always my lover , never my friend . We made love . I will never be complete until I meet him again .
All my kids are my angels too . They are all present in their own ways . My son , Brian , lives in Paris and calls me two to three times a day when he feels like complaining . Jonathan calls me all the time like there ’ s a catastrophe when it ’ s nothing at all . I have Jeremie , who is quiet and sweet and calm . And then I have Sarah , who makes me crazy with clothes and her apartment . I also have my daughters-in-law , Jessica and Hila , and my four beautiful grandkids .
They keep me going , but I ’ m a strong woman . I do a lot of talking to myself . I have my downs for a few minutes , but then I tell myself , “ There are so many poor people with nothing and no one . I have passed bad times , but I am fortunate . There are many less fortunate than me .” That ’ s what life is all about . You have good and bad times , but this is what is written for me .