ALL MY CHILDREN
Karen Evans
58
My father , Howard Amster , was a prince of a man and lived an incredible life . He died eight and a half years ago , and I still feel a deep connection to him . Sometimes I feel his presence . He had a great , simple marriage to my mother until the day he passed . He was a WWII vet and was in the plastic manufacturing business . He never gave unsolicited advice , but if you asked , he gave sound advice . He told me , “ Do everything as though the whole world is watching .” It has been my guiding platform . It ’ s how I have lived my life , and I try to teach that to my children .
When he was young he purchased a factory in Rhode Island , where I was born . The factory ended up having to file for bankruptcy . My father did not buy a home when we next moved to Chicago , or Mississippi , or anywhere . That was because he ’ d made it a point to pay back every investor whose money was lost 100 cents on the dollar out of his own pocket . Every job he had after the bankruptcy , he set aside part of his budget to pay them everyone back . No legal obligation , just a moral obligation . It says a lot about who he was , and it taught me that you have to be ethical and moral and stand by your word .
He moved our whole family from Chicago to Mississippi in 1963 . We lived there for almost five years . It was a very segregated world , but nevertheless , he built a factory with a single set of bathrooms , a single set of water fountains , and a single cafeteria – all desegregated . Then he persuaded a black man from Chicago to come to Mississippi to manage a department in the factory . He was a man ahead of his time . When my dad was around 85 , he was diagnosed with acute leukemia . The doctors said he had three weeks to three months . My dad said , “ No . I don ' t want any treatments . I just want to go home .” It was the most amazing three months imaginable . He described it as one non-stop party .
My kids are my angels too . Michael , Marco , and Andrew . They ’ re all in their mid-20 ’ s now . When I got divorced , they did two things that speaks volumes about their sensitivity . The first thing was every Saturday , they would take me out to dinner and spend time with me . They wanted to know I wasn ’ t just sitting at home . The second thing was they knew how proud I was to wear my wedding band and engagement ring . I loved being a “ Mrs .” It was an adjustment for me to suddenly go around with no rings on my hand . One week after I moved out of my house , it was my birthday , and they gave me a ring . I couldn ’ t believe it . It was so special .