AUTISM ADVOCACY
When a diagnosis of autism is confirmed, it’s like a hurricane
centered on the child. There is a huge amount of activity, and
everything is swept away—only the focus on the child remains.
April is Autism Awareness Month, and hun-
dreds of autism organizations, local business-
es, and thousands of people and parents like
us will bring much-needed attention to the
key issues and topics surrounding autism, as
well as the plight of the millions of children
and adults it affects. Prominent national land-
marks will light up in blue, autism events will
be held throughout the country, and major
fundraising campaigns will be conducted to
raise money for increased research.
It’s a perfect time to get involved. Participate in
a local autism walk or event and network with
other parents. If you can’t make it, there are
also many national and local autism organiza-
tions you can join, which can provide you with
information and resources.
2. Give yourself permission to feel and
heal
When a diagnosis of autism is confirmed, it’s
like a hurricane centered on the child. There is
a huge amount of activity, and everything is
swept away—only the focus on the child re-
mains.
Obviously, a youngster with special needs de-
serves special attention. But this immediate fo-
cus often becomes permanent; nobody thinks of
anyone or anything else, now or in the long term.
Most of the time, parents are offered plenty of
support and resources for their children, but
none for themselves. Instead, they are expect-
ed to process and accept what is happening
immediately and to “stay strong” for their son
or daughter. Few people ever seem to realize that
parents in this situation have special needs too.
Accepting that your child has a disability isn’t
easy. Parents experience roller coasters of emo-
tions such as denial, anger, and hopelessness.
You may feel sad or guilty at times.
8 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 87
Remind yourself that these thoughts and feel-
ings are perfectly normal and are to be ex-
pected, given your new situation. Know it’s
okay to have them now and then. This doesn’t
make you a bad person or a bad parent—it just
means you’re human.
Loving your son or daughter and doing the best
for him/her make you a good parent, whether
your child has a condition or not. Continuing to
do your best in difficult circumstances makes
you both a good parent and a good person.
If you find that you’re constantly plagued
by worries, stress, or negative thoughts, you
might find it helpful to express your feelings.
There are several ways, including writing in a
journal, talking to a good friend or trained pro-
fessional, or joining a parent support group.
3. You’re allowed to take your time
Adjusting to a new life that you didn’t plan for
or anticipate is tough. You weren’t intending
on having a child with special needs. Nobody
does. It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.
There’s nothing to be ashamed about.
It’s important to take as long as you need to
process everything, whether it’s days, months,
or years. There’s no set timetable for healing
and acceptance.
4. M
ake sure to separate the diagnosis
from the child
Raising a child with a disability does alter your
life. However, it shouldn’t change the love you
have for your son or daughter and the strong
bond that naturally develops over time.
If you only look at the behaviors and challeng-
es, you’re allowing your child’s diagnosis to be
the focus of your relationship. The positive alter-
native is accepting your child for who he/she is,
understanding that a child cannot be blamed