Autism Parenting Magazine Issue 87 (Member's Dashboard) | Page 52

PERSONAL NARRATIVE The Autism Journey - Finding the Best Family Balance By Tammy PERRY-FOWLER Each of us has our own autism journey, and we all go through different tests or struggles that are unique to us. But cer- tain things are common; we do learn things from each other’s experiences. We all have an autism journey destina- tion. S ometimes the autism journey process can be more complicated than we anticipated. It can feel like we take two steps forward but then five steps backward. In honesty, it is hard not to fret about all the obstacles we encounter as M’s parents. One particu- lar obstacle has been finding employment full-time outside the home. In truth, every autism parent or guardian puts in countless hours of work at home with his/her child. It is a demanding job that we do whole-heartily because of our love and deter- mination to help our children be successful in their own abilities. The decision not to work full time outside the home was made for me due to budget cuts. I was no lon- ger employed as an early childhood education men- tor-coach. Sometimes the bumps we run into on our journeys teach us a lot about perseverance in still reaching our overall goals, which, in my case, was making sure our family would be happy. I could not change what happened, but I could adjust my out- look. In these four months, I have spent a lot of time with our M going to various doctors’ appointments and therapy, going to the park, and gardening—that would have been challenging if I was still employed full time outside the home. For the first time in my life, I was not working full time. In truth, the feeling was awesome yet fearful at the same time. In reality, every parent’s first job is being a parent 24/7. I do find being M’s mom interesting, rewarding, and exhaust- 52 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 87 ing. I discovered the first two months being home full time was great. M and I were together every single day and night. I learned even more amazing things about our M. For example, M really enjoyed helping me plant a garden. He would laugh every time while watering the plants. He started saying new words like “plant” and “help.” Yes, all our time together this sum- mer still had its typical ups and downs. Noteworthy, I did not turn into a June Cleaver. I had a five-year-old with autism to keep up with, so T-shirts/sweatpants/ jeans were the norm. Also, I found myself not stress- ing so much about keeping our house perfectly neat. If a load of laundry got folded that day, okay. Or if the mopping got done after M went to bed, it was okay. I found a certain freedom in my adjusted thinking. My heart did ache when summer break was over and M started kindergarten. I secretly wanted M to miss me just as much as I missed him. Then the reality of life hit, and I faced the crossroads of whether to go back to work full-time or part-time outside the home. In contemplating this decision, I had to consider M’s medical issues and our financial situation. I cried and prayed every night about what to do. I could not give an outside full-time job my 100 percent best and still be there for M’s needs 100 percent. It’s a scary feeling not knowing how your family is going