COMMUNICATION
Ways You Can Help a Child
With Autism Find His or Her Voice
By Robert J. BERNSTEIN
When we think of “finding one’s voice,” we often think of a writer seeking the most
natural and fluent way to express him- or herself.
W
hen it comes to autism, “finding one’s voice”
is more literal; we are often literally teach-
ing a child who has never spoken before
to speak or teaching a child to find the
words which are deep in his/her reservoir
of knowledge.
I want to describe a recent experience. James was a
10-year-old boy who could not explain things very
well. He would get confused quickly, then just give up.
My evaluation of this child strongly suggested that
he needed to organize his thoughts so that express-
ing what he wanted to would be easier. I thought I
would teach James what I have taught many other
clients—to do this internal processing on his own.
There was more. The evaluation revealed that his
main problem was very low self-esteem. Having
confidence in who he was—feeling good about him-
self—was the most important thing.
In order for James to “have a voice,” he first had to un-
derstand himself. He literally had to understand him-
self. For example, James liked baseball and enjoyed
playing on a team. At the same time, James did not
think of himself as a person who liked baseball. After
the season, he expressed no interest in playing base-
ball again! For a time, he was obsessively interested
in skateboarding—for a time. One week later, his in-
terest in skateboarding was gone, as ephemeral and
transient as his former preoccupation with baseball
had been. only had what he wanted to do at the moment. If
his skateboard got stuck while pulling it out from the
car, he had no idea that he could turn it a certain way
to retrieve it. Instead, he would get frustrated and
scream. James had difficulty explaining anything be-
cause that meant he would have to stop and think.
James could not complete the sentence, “I am a boy
who likes...” He had no “self” to identify with, to re-
late to, or to speak about. He had no sense of feel-
ing sorry for misbehavior, no fear of authority—he But what he really needed was a sense of self. He
needed the ability to go into himself, to tap into a way
of expressing himself so he could communicate exactly
what he wanted to say.
Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 87 |
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