PERSONAL NARRATIVE
The Power of Embracing What
I Don’t Know As an Autism Parent
By Luke VINCENT
I’m a reasonably intelligent man, but I know nothing. I’m simply a dad, only five years
into my adventure as an autism parent, trying to learn and share my observations.
That’s a good place to start if, like me, you want to be involved in healthy dialogues
on autism. We can’t be clinging too tightly to ideas and acting like we know it all. But,
we can’t keep our ideas to ourselves either.
A
s a parent of two boys with autism, every
day feels like a struggle to find the per-
fect answer. I want to appropriately direct
their behavior and be productive while
respecting their identities and creating
happy, comfortable lives for them. How
the heck do I do that? Which therapies are
appropriate for them and at what point are they be-
ing pushed a bit too far? If I believe there’s nothing
“wrong” with my sons, which I surely do, can I justify
rigorous strategies to change their behavior? Where
am I supposed to draw the line? Add this to the regu-
lar moment-to-moment stresses of being an autism
parent, and it’s a wonder my brain hasn’t exploded
yet.
I find myself on the Internet looking for answers,
where, if you spend even a small amount of time
reading articles and lurking in comment sections,
you’re exposed to all kinds of opinions on autism.
Knowing nothing, as I do, I’m able to approach each
point of view with an appropriate naiveté. People are
remarkably good at producing compelling opinions
based on their very specific experiences and the re-
sulting impacts on their lives. Most perspectives are
easily understandable when given consideration.
A remarkable thing about today’s technology is it
provides people—in particular, those who were pre-
viously unwilling or unable—the option of express-
ing themselves and sharing experiences. From an
autism perspective, it could even mean a nonverbal
Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 74 |
11