SOCIAL SKILLS
3. Our social needs tend to change
Who says we don’t go to parties, movies, restaurants,
and so on? Yes, we may not be fans of going out ev-
ery single weekend, but some days are okay. Keep
in mind that we may prefer to spend a day at home,
watching a TV series or listening to music. We may
also like going to the library or a museum, some-
where with minimal noise. Now, if your Aspie is a
Metalhead, things will be a little confusing from time
to time, but they will stay interesting!
4. Be upfront about gifts 8. Let us have our routines
When there’s something you really love and would
like to be given it as a present, it’s better if you share
the information. We do have ideas and do try to guess
what our significant other might like, but if there’s a
detail you know you will love, say it. We won’t have to
worry about the endless “is this right?” drama. We have a schedule and routines to keep our mind
in order and under control. There’s a reason why we
do things like that, and yes, “it’s the way it has always
been” is valid for us. Changing it can make us feel lost
and uncomfortable. It’s better just to ignore those
things when you’re still new to an Aspie.
5. Hugs? Kisses?
We want a relationship first
We prefer to keep a distance when there’s not a sol-
id connection yet, similar to the old days when you
had to get to know someone first. You won’t get a
kiss on the first date, but maybe on the third or the
fourth. We’re romantics in that sense, and there are
not many of us left!
6.
Don’t overwhelm us with new friends
Please don’t say, “I’ll just introduce you to my family/
friends,” and bring about five people. We’ll be terri-
fied. Think about going one by one, or two by two,
giving us enough time to process new people, and
do it with enough time between each group. The
next time we are at a social event, we’ll go with the
flow and will thank you for it!
7. Take the time to learn to get along
Relationships are also about the thorns in the roses
and the dark clouds before the rainbow. Even if it’s
hard to do when you’re angry, watch your mouth be-
fore speaking as we tend to take comments literally.
If you’re not getting anywhere in the discussion, take
five, calm down, and then start again.
9. Work stress can be hard
Who hasn’t had one of those days in the office? For
us, it can be even more stressful than you can imag-
ine, so we may be uneasy at the end of the day. Don’t
be scared about it. On the other side, if we have an
amazing day and love what we’re working on, then
you’ll have a great time with us, maybe even a sur-
prise! Who knows?
10. I t’s exciting to plan for the future
together
So you went through the whole process, you both
know each other as no one else does, the feelings
are mutual. Maybe it’s time to make it official! Aspies
don’t take surprises that well, so if you propose, ex-
pect us to be overwhelmed with emotion! If it’s the
Aspie who is proposing, then you’ll see us more ner-
vous than ever. Either way, we’re impossibly cute!
Alan D.D. is a writer, journalist, and blogger from
Venezuela. After years of thinking he was just intro-
vert and shy, he discovered he had Asperger’s syn-
drome while doing what he loves the most: read-
ing. Since then, he writes about the topic whenever
he can, and when not immersed in a book of his
or from his favorite authors, he can be found most
likely at the movies or playing Heroes of the Storm.
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