AUTISM THERAPY
cut. If your child keeps running away from you,
consider the possibility that he/she is running
towards something. There is often a reason be-
hind the behavior if you stop to try and consid-
er it from the child’s perspective. Ask yourself
what motive your child could have that they
can’t express.
2.
Ask, “How do you feel?”
Ask it often. Maybe, in the beginning, you
won’t get an answer. It’s so important for chil-
dren with autism to be able to express feelings
that this should be practiced continuously. If
you don’t get an answer, provide two or three
options for the child. If you know the answer
(maybe your child is screaming, and it’s lunch-
time), then prompt the answer, “Mom, I’m
hungry.” Maybe when you ask you will get a
nonverbal answer (sorry if an iPad is thrown at
you, but you’ll know the child wants the iPad).
Checking in regarding feelings can help reduce
frustration on everyone’s part.
3.
Idle hands are the devil’s playground
Many kids on the spectrum need structure. They
need schedules, and they need to know what’s
coming next. This is often hard to provide at
home, especially for kids who don’t have a lot
of interests. I had a hard time keeping my son
busy, particularly because he didn’t/couldn’t
do many things on his own. One therapist sug-
gested I provide chores for him. I wasn’t sure
what he would be able to do on his own in the
house. It turns out this was one of the best sug-
gestions I ever received. In the beginning, we
made up chores just to keep him busy. We took
all of his socks out of his drawers and brought
them into the living room. He put them away
one by one. We took all of the cans off the pan-
try’s shelves, and he had to replace them. This
developed over the years into skills he can use
productively around the house and possibly
transfer to a job one day.
4.
a full-time job, or vocational training—you
want your child to be as independent as he/
she is capable of being. Don’t do something
for your child that he/she is capable of doing
for himself/herself. If your child can say “milk,”
make him/her say it before you provide it. If
your child can sign “milk,” make him/her sign it.
Don’t give it to the child without the request.
You may know your child wants it, but some-
one else may not. If your child can put his/her
clothes in the hamper, don’t do it for him/her.
This can be a springboard to other indepen-
dent skills, such as putting away dishes or tak-
ing responsibility for his/her own belongings.
Independence is key
No matter what you see in your child’s future—
an independent living situation, a group home,
50 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 72
5.
Presume competence
I remember a friend’s reaction watching my
son unloading the dishwasher. “Wow! How’d
you teach him to do that?” I was a little offend-
ed, but I opted to educate rather than show my
disappointment. I said, “He’s capable of a lot
more than you’d think. He just has to be taught
little by little.” Other people will underestimate
your child often. Be willing to try things. Break
them into steps. Provide visuals in the form of
pictures or words. Be there for support. If it
doesn’t work today, try again tomorrow, next
week, or next year. Timing is everything.
As parents of special needs kids, we have learned no
two kids have the same needs. Everything on this list
can be altered to your child. Do things according to
his/her capability with the hope of stretching that
capability little by little. We have to go at the child’s
pace, not ours. A step forward is a step forward.
Diana Romeo is a full-time stay-at-home mom of
two kids, a 14-year-old neurotypical girl who is equal
parts sweet and sassy, and a very sweet 16-year-old
boy who has autism. She has a degree in business
management and has worked in human resources.
She enjoys reading, writing, cooking, walking, and
yoga. She has been published in Autism Parenting
Magazine and Exceptional Parent Magazine.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dianalro-
meo/