Help us with our aspirations
AUTISM SOLUTIONS
6 . or modern psychology . And I also recognize the risk of putting a “ label ” on a young person which might stunt their growth into adulthood or unjustly soften expectations for them . But , please , please , understand that I weighed all of this before accepting our son ’ s diagnosis , and I still accept it wholeheartedly . I have wanted to tell the doubters that our diagnosis is not an easy way out of a difficult parenting situation . Instead , in accepting the diagnosis , I have committed to some huge sacrifices — financial and personal . I quit a career I loved so I could drive our child to appointments and apply therapy techniques at home , and we continue to pay out-of-pocket for both in-home therapy and on-site therapy . Unlike many other diagnoses , there is no pill or easy regimen to fix the difficulties related to ASD . If you do find yourself doubting , please ask us more about it . We would be happy to teach you what we know about autism and tell you the many ways our life is affected by it .
Help us with our aspirations
Family life with a child with autism has added challenges . After becoming parents , many moms and dads of neurotypical children report feeling isolated or unable to get out and do the things they once loved . This feeling can be magnified for those parents who have special needs children . Anything other people can do to support us in the things we dreamed of doing before the diagnosis is such a gift . Did we want to plant a big vegetable garden ? Start our own photography business ? Write a book ? Simple encouragement can go a long way for parents who are weary or discouraged . Please assume that we still have our own hopes and interests and speak to us about them . Grant us the dignity of having our own goals , and encourage us in our pursuit of them . And if you have a little extra time or inspiration , lend us a hand in actually accomplishing those things we love to do . Offer to dig out the sod for that friend who wanted a garden . Hire that aspiring photographer to take your next family portrait . Ask if you can pick up resources from the library for the budding author . Even if the dream is never completely accomplished , granting ASD parents support as they try to use their talents
is an acknowledgment of the sacrifices they have made . It can be a refreshing and humanizing gesture towards those who feel as though life has been overshadowed by the diagnosis .
Of course , for parents of special needs children , there are always the expected and easy-to-explain requests that arise , too . Could you watch the kids so that we can have a date night ? Could you pray for us ? Could you pick up the drinks for the birthday party ? But I have found myself more often needing support in these less expected ways . We are so thankful for you , dear villagers , and so thankful for the great question , “ How may I help ?” Please ask it and ask it often — and please do not be surprised if you get an answer that is not what you would expect .
L . M . Leonard is a former teacher who writes from her home in Minnesota . She has three beautiful and adventurous boys , the oldest of whom has autism . She spends her time chasing children , saving the family library from utter destruction , and writing during the few quiet moments of the day .
Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 71 | 53