Survival Through The Storm
By : Tonisha EskridgeWilliams
I was forced to become independent before I actually knew that I was independent . Having a 4year old and a one year old , separated from their father with no support , working fulltime , daycare was taking 85 % of my check , and what was left was not enough to pay one bill … shall I go on ? I ultimately lost my threebedroom apartment with the cathedral ceiling and hardwood floors . Only four families in the entire building of nine units . Having to move back home with your parents with two babies and married , but separated , was not my ideal choice of good living . Then there was the transportation issue or lack thereof . Catching the bus with two babies then having to walk a mile home from the bus stop with them crying all the way , and so was I , I might add , was not fun either . There has got to be a better way to this living as a single parent thing . There ’ s just got to be a better way .
I found myself stuck in the closet . While in the closet I decided to make myself strong by being objective to the things that have happened to me . Here is why I say all this . I became objective with my life by having an outer body experience that changed me for the better . . An outer body experience is not mental , it ’ s taking a look back and deciding what to do going forward based on the actions and behaviors from the past . I began to work harder and focus on raising my children . I get a car ; now we are no longer walking , catching the bus , asking for rides … the Power has been taken back .
If you do not become objective with yourself , you will remain trapped in the closet . Your power is lost because you let it be taken by not dealing with the issue head on and working on strategies to overcome the pain . Coming out of the closet is very difficult . When you have been trapped inside of yourself for so long , you have the slightest clue on how to break free . You feel like a caged animal and when a caged animal is set free or breaks out , most of the time it can be disastrous . You fall down , but you MUST find a way to get up . There is no exception ! A faint voice told me I have been in the closet for so long it ’ s time to come out . Why must I come out ? The world needs to see you . The world needs to hear how you became trapped in the first place . There are people depending on you , like your children .
. They are too young to teach themselves and who better to guide them in this God awful universe than the only person they trusted from birth . It ’ s scary in this world alone and that is where they will be if you don ’ t come out . The world needs to hear your journey . Your children need to hear the struggle first hand and how it was overcome . How they can beat the odds , the statistics , all the danger they are about to encounter . Other young women need to hear your story to encourage them to keep going in life .
Authentically You Magazine 41