4 . Share the power and control dynamic
5 . Synchronize your breathing
6 . Partake in sensate focus
7 . Don ’ t be a thumper
4 . Share the power and control dynamic
One of the myths associated with being a good gay top is that you have to be the one in control . And while it is true most tops are wired to do what they do , this doesn ’ t mean they need to be controlling .
In fact , this approach can very much be a turn-off .
A better method is to share power and control and let your bottom guide you towards what he wants . Follow his lead in form and position and mindfully tune into where you sense he is heading . Believe it or not , bottoms can be aggressive too .
5 . Synchronize your breathing
If you are a top that tends to blow too quickly or if this is the case for your bottom , it ’ s time to start focusing on mindful breathing techniques . This approach will help circulate your blood flow and distribute oxygen throughout your system .
To engage in mindful breathing , simply take a few deep breaths and center your awareness on the here and now . Purge your mind of extraneous thoughts , particularly if you are focused on the end game .
Work with your partner to synchronize breathing . This will help the both of you and may even offer the added benefit of edging .
6 . Partake in sensate focus
Under this point , you will be using a powerful tool to help you truly tune into your bottom ’ s body . Sensate focus is all about the awareness of touch .
While your thoughts may be centering on your stick being inside of him , what about your fingers , lips and torso ?
Your goal should be total mind body awareness when you are topping your man , mindfully using all of your senses to truly feel him for his essence and not just for his love-box .
7 . Don ’ t be a thumper
While it may look fun in films , thumping your man like a rabbit isn ’ t such a great thing . Believe it or not , even seasoned bottoms experience pain when you insert too quickly or pull out too fast .
They also feel discomfort when you make yourself out to be a rapid fire machine gun . Well – at least some people do .
Instead , start out slow and jointly figure out your cadence . It ’ s OK to occasionally ask your man how he is feeling . Trust that your bottom will tell you about his needs and persuade or dissuade you from picking up the pace .
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