Soltalk September 2017 | Page 27

Jottings cats eyes removed .” The Council said some children and tourists understood this to mean that real animal parts were used on British roads and were afraid that their pets might be next . The sign has now been amended to read “ Road studs removed .” Now let ’ s all wait for the complaint about “ studs ” on the grounds that it celebrates male sexuality and encourages rapists .
Meanwhile , Frome Council in Somerset has decided that beauty pageants are “ not in keeping with 21st century values ,” and have replaced the carnival queen role with five young male and female “ carnival ambassadors ” for the event this month . The decision has upset traditionalists who say the change is down to political correctness .
Tower Hamlets Council has been busy this summer . First , in July it made headlines by closing down a stall selling lemonade and fining its operator . Four council workers arrived minutes after it opened and ordered its closure for “ trading without a permit ,” read out a lengthy legal letter and issued a fine for £ 150 (€ 165 ). The stall ’ s owner promptly burst into tears , After all , she ’ s only five years old and luckily her dad , who was supervising her entrepreneurial efforts , was on hand to comfort her . The Council have since apologised and cancelled the fine , saying , “ We expect our enforcement officers to show common sense , and to use their powers sensibly . This clearly did not happen .” Clearly it did not .
But within days , the Council were at it again . This time , owners of a local bicycle shop were fined for leaving a pump outside their shop for the use of cyclists , free of charge . But the council ’ s explanation was puzzling .
“ The area outside the shop is narrow and it is already difficult to get a pram or a wheelchair past the shop , without these items being displayed ,” it said , but added that if they applied for and were granted a licence , no fine would be payable .
So , once the licence is obtained to place items on the pavement outside the shop , presumably with a fee payable , the area ceases to be difficult for mums with prams and wheelchair users ? Hull City Council sent contractors around to Mike Scott ’ s house after he asked them to erect a fence to separate the front garden of his council house from the pavement . They duly built a ten foot wide fence across the width of the property , so blocking the driveway on which Mr Scott parks his car . The Council then sent him a form asking him for feedback on their work ...
Craig Hunt , from Studley , Warwickshire , was handed a bill for £ 277.50 (€ 303 ) from his local parish council for painting over obscene graffiti at a nearby skate park , without the council ’ s permission . It was personally delivered by a police officer . The graffiti , complete with some rude drawings , had been there for three weeks but the council ’ s main objection was that he ’ d used the “ wrong ” kind of paint . Perhaps local tax payers should be objecting to the council ’ s failure to cover up the graffiti themselves , or the police ’ s failure to identify the vandals who painted the obscenities ?
Jeff Hughes was walking along eating a bag of cherries in Birkenhead when he was stopped by two plain-clothed gentlemen . They turned out to have been contracted from Kingdom Environmental Protection Services to work for Wirral Council . They said they had seen him discard “ several cherry stones and a whole cherry ” and handed him an on-the-spot £ 80 fine . When Mr
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