Aug/Sep 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue Aug/Sep 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 54

#SACREDAFFIRMATION
“I won’t
underestimate my
competence.”
– SUSIE MOORE
was stuck in a victim loop was the shake
I needed to be awakened in that moment.
Seeing my situation for what it was — a cycle
of destructive behavior, fighting, gambling,
lying, repeat — teleported me back to that
night with Mo and my mom pressing a bloody
towel across her shoulders. That memory,
and its meaning in my life at that moment,
stabbed me in the heart, the way that only
truth can.
After my husband tried Gamblers Anonymous
and never went back, I knew it was
over. I was not going to live like any of those
women I met growing up. No way, José. And
so, two and a half years after getting married,
I moved out. It was terrifying. I had $1,700 in
the bank, and my best friend lent me $1,000
for my deposit on the cheapest rental that
she could help me find — all I could afford
on my salary.
I loved my teeny safe haven. There was a
massive burn mark (from what, I’ll never
know) on the carpet in the living room, and
when you opened two of the kitchen drawers,
they had no bottoms, just gaping holes. But
I never complained about a thing because
I was terrified the owner would try to raise
the rent. The bathroom was a curious mix of
dull pink and lime green. That part, weirdly,
I kind of loved, too. And hey, I’d rocked far
less in my life (another blessing in disguise
from being a poor kid).
Most significant, it was mine. No one had
keys except me. I practically felt like Carrie
Bradshaw (sans the designer threads...but
who needed those?). I had my own place!
Some weeks, I had just Snickers, Red Bull,
and some cheap prosecco in the fridge.
Freeeeeeeeedoooom!
Here’s what I chose to accept, which helped
me leave my victim loop for an accountability
loop. Yes, my former husband’s gambling
was a problem, but I clearly had maturity
issues of my own. Like the choice I had made
in getting married so blindly (and so early),
and all the subsequent choices I’d made to
ignore the problem my husband clearly had.
My choices contributed just as much to the
situation as his had. Take that, victim loop!
It like a painful, truthful “ouch” for a second,
but then the relief of “Oh, yes, I’m powerful
here” came immediately after. Accountability
loops make you powerful. Victim loops, not
so much.
Excerpted from the book Stop Checking Your Likes.
Copyright ©2020 by Susie Moore. Printed with permission
from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.
Susie Moore - Susie is the author of Stop Checking Your Likes and
What If It Does Work Out? which was named by Entrepreneur
as one of the “8 Business Books Entrepreneurs Must Read to
Dominate Their Industry.” A former Silicon Valley sales director
turned life coach, she has been featured on The Today Show, as
well as in O Magazine, Business Insider, Forbes, Time, and Marie
Claire. She lives in Miami, Florida with her husband Heath and
their Yorkshire Terrier, Coconut. Find out more about her work at
www.Susie-Moore.com.
54
www.AspireMAG.net | August / September 2020