Attune Magazine January 2013 | Page 73

Any partner who has to know every move, spies on you by reading your email, checking your phone and grilling you on every encounter or conversation has a serious issue. In men this is called the Othello Syndrome and we all know how that ended up for the fair Desdemona. Obsessive jealousy falls under the category of Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and is readily treatable with medication. If you are dealing with this in your relationship you have to insist that your partner, male or female, get help for their problem as it only escalates or you have to leave. Jealousy is often the cause of many domestic violence related events and these can end tragically. Feeling possessive of the one you love is not the same as obsessive jealousy. We have all felt that pang when someone is paying too much attention to our other. It is that momentary flash that says “he’s mine” or “she’s mine”; this is a natural and normal feeling. If it puts you into a full blown rage at your partner and/or the person they are interacting with, then you – yes, you - have a serious issue.

You and your partner may have very different ways of handling money; one of you may be very responsible and the other one is an avoider. One of you may make more money or have significantly more debt than the other and this can create conflict as well. What will happen if your partner’s family does not like or welcome you? Is your partner going to be the hero in the situation and stand up for you? You may be cruelly disappointed to find out that they won’t. You and your partner may have religious and political differences and need to decide how you are going to deal with it when you have parallel opinions. If you want children and your partner doesn’t, don’t think that you are going to change them or that they are suddenly going to come around to your point of view. Relationships are not equal partnerships.