78 www . AspireMAG . net | October / November 2018
I always dismissed the warning . My husband is really accepting of my work and my kids are aligned with my work , too .
It was exactly right … until I wasn ’ t .
And it all came flooding into my awareness in one soul crushing day . Maybe all the work I had done was going to cost me my marriage and my relationship with my kids .
My kids had been exhibiting more and more rebellious teenage behaviors , but I felt the situation was nothing I couldn ’ t handle . Or so I thought . Until the day I heard my older son talking about me to one of his friends . He made it sound like he couldn ’ t stand me and didn ’ t want me to be a part of his life but was doing what was necessary so I would continue buying him what he wanted .
In that moment , I was overcome by countless emotions .
I always made my children my priority and gave selflessly for them . You know , the normal mother martyr . And this is how he appreciates me ? I was crushed , outraged , broken and I showed him all of these emotions .
Because spiritual leaders don ’ t stuff emotions back down … we emote !
All of the tools and skills I had as a coach and transformational leader were washed from my conscious mind by the deluge of tears that I let flow . Turns out , this was not the best approach with my teenage son . He looked at me with sheer discomfort , turned up to max volume . I had felt him asserting his independence for a while , but my display drove an almost insurmountable wedge between us . He wanted nothing to do with , what he considered was my unstable expression of emotion .
This interaction with my son , triggered a volatile response from my husband , as well . He not so gently pointed out that I am different , now . And he , nor my sons asked for these changes , so I was the one who was going to have to deal with the fall out . And that he wasn ’ t sure if he could stay with all of this going on . Well , SHIT ! I was not going to compromise my integrity … this is the platform I stood on and taught others to embrace and claim as their birthright . I could do nothing less .
How could this be happening to me , as I built the business of my dreams , to be of service to spiritual women around the world ?
How could this be happening to me , as I built the business of my dreams , to be of service to spiritual women around the world ? How could my loved ones be attacking the improvements and development I have undergone ? How could my marriage be this fragile ? This is not who I was , or what I had crafted my life to be but here I was , feeling utter loneliness and despair . I honestly , could not recall another time I had been this sad , not even when I went through a divorce from my first husband . Maybe that played a
78 www . AspireMAG . net | October / November 2018