Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Oct/Nov 2018 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 23

M
To
compound
these
overwhelming
expectations, we also believe that we should
be able to do it all perfectly. Since these
unrealistic goals can never truly be met, we
inevitably end up feeling overwhelmed,
exhausted, and filled with an unsettling
sense that there is something wrong
with us.
We may look around and think everyone
else has life figured out and that we are
the only ones who do not measure up.
The problem with comparing ourselves to
others while trying to meet this unattainable
ideal is that it feeds our sense of not being
good enough and further erodes our self-
confidence and self-worth. Ironically, this
sense of not feeling good enough can
further motivate us to strive to be perfect.
We may even believe that if we could just
be the “perfect” daughter, mother, wife,
friend, student, employee then we would be
appreciated, valued, and even celebrated.
The problem with buying into the myth
of perfectionism, is that it is not realistic
or sustainable. Instead of feeling good
about all we do, we end up judging
and criticizing ourselves for falling
short. The more we believe we need
to be perfect, the more unrealistic our
expectations of ourselves become, as
does the amount of energy we need to
fulfill these expectations.
Perfectionism feeds
a scarcity mindset
and undermines
our ability to
receive blessings
and see the infinite
possibilities available
to us.
any of us have been sold a myth
that we unconsciously aspire to—that we
can do and have it all. As a result, we often
wear our superwomen capes with pride and
derive much of our value and worth caring
for everyone in our lives, leaving little time to
nurture ourselves.
No wonder why so many of us end up
feeling overwhelmed and exhausted! And
no wonder why so many of us walk around
with inner critics who are harsh, judgmental,
and provide us a litany of evidence that we
are not living up to our standards.
It truly is an impossible situation.
Whether you believe the myth that you
should be perfect or your high expectations
of yourself are fed by the belief that you
should have it all, do it all, and be everything
to everyone, unrealistic expectations are
anything but self-nurturing. And as Anne
Wilson Schaef reminds us, “Perfectionism
is self-abuse of the highest order.”
Not only is perfectionism self-abuse,
but it undermines the important work
of becoming ourselves and limits our
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