Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) June/July 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 62

and beliefs on how you thought it should be?
Did you work through the differences, solve
them and create a map of how you would
navigate each part of your family together?
Of course, you didn’t do that! But that’s
exactly what you have to do. You have to
come together and make a system, an order
and a structure for how you are going to
tackle these things together. You have to let
go of winning. Ditch “my way.”
Your Partner Isn’t
the Enemy
Now, here’s the deal. You didn’t sit down
in advance and make the systems and the
plans. You didn’t do the work. This is on you,
too. But now, every time you fight with your
partner you blame them.
Do you get Wednesday night out with the
guys after the baby is born?
Now you’re fighting and you think, “Oh my
gosh, what happened? Did I choose the
wrong partner?”
You always thought you’d align, so you panic,
and you don’t know what to do. It’s called the
Accidental Alignment Predicament.
Think back to before you got married, before
you lived together, and before you had kids.
Did you and your partner sit down and align
on parenting, money, the household, work,
your relationship with family, spirituality,
health and all the other things we’re talking
about here?
Did you find where you differed and share
your perspectives, dreams, fears, concerns
You’ve been fighting the wrong enemy the
entire time. Your partner isn’t wrong. They’re
just a free human being with ideas and
fears and dreams, and the two of you never
sat down and talked about that. You never
designed alignment.
Imagine if I told you that the solution to these
fights was just to do it the way your partner
wants you to. You give up your way and you
give them their way. You’ll be trapped doing
it that way for the rest of your days.
How does that feel? Do you think you’d
be happy? Do you think you’d feel good
doing it their way even when they weren’t
around? No! But that’s what you want them
to do, right?
The enemy is not your partner—it’s the
Accidental Alignment Predicament. Alignment
is not demanded. It’s created. You seek it and
you build upon it to create more of it.
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