Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) June/July 2018 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 75

I was dumbfounded. We’d talked about it
but put it off. He mentioned it earlier in the
weekend. I guess that was my clue and
would have been my chance to speak up,
but I didn’t think he was going to do it so
quickly! The sections in the colored font are a few
notes to YOU, the reader, to explain a few
of the tools and strategies I shared with
Melissa.
So, my husband starts pulling the crib apart.
I’m frustrated, but I didn’t want to undermine
him in front of the kids. [Notice the great
progress Melissa has already made in
creating a rock-solid relationship with her
husband.] “Hey Melissa! This is a great opportunity
to put your tools into practice! I’m really
celebrating you! You did NOT do what most
people do which usually is using indirect
negativity to “let your man know you’re
unhappy.”
I thought it would be a good idea to make sure
our son was prepared for such a big change. Here are some next level relationship tools
for you.
I hung around while he was working instead
of showering to keep the kids out of the
way. I was annoyed but managed to keep
it under wraps and I was trying to honestly
understand my husband’s actions. There is a LOT of expectation you carry
for how to navigate your days with your
responsibilities and your husband.
So, my first question is, “Should I have
taken a stronger stance in front of the kids?
I wasn’t trying to avoid the topic but didn’t
want to have an argument. I’m proud for
keeping calm despite being frustrated and
annoyed.”
And my second question is, “How can I do
better next time? What should I do when I
disagree but the train has left the station and
the kids are involved?
There is Accidental Alignment Predicament
happening here.
[Accidental Alignment Predicament is when
you fall in love and start living your life with
your partner, and you assume that you are
going to align on the big things because you
are married, but you don’t. You will NOT
accidentally align with your spouse just
because you fell in love. Those moments
where you EXPERIENCE that lack of
alignment are usually because there was
an “assumed” alignment, but it was never
actually created.]
Have more conversations OUTSIDE the
moment about how you can DESIGN your
days to be more transparent about your
schedule, plans, etc.
YOU understand that “let’s go change diapers
so I can get the kids to the store before the
75
After the project was done, I asked my
husband what his plans were for the day
because it wasn’t happening the way I
thought and I wanted to get on the same
page. I believe I said this from a place of
heartfelt understanding. He indicated he
hadn’t come upstairs with the intent to lower
the crib, but that it was overdue.
My Response to Melissa….