Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) June/July 2018 Aspire Mag Full Issue | Page 24

Our intuition is
a guiding force,
directing us along
our path of truth and
wholeness.
– Dr. Catherine Hayes, CPCC
what felt real and what felt false. It was not
always easy to hear this new perspective on
who we felt we “needed” to be to survive in
the world, but it was also freeing.
As you can probably guess, my self-images
centered around being seen as successful,
kind, good, and accommodating to the
needs of others. As I explored why I held
onto these images, I saw how deep their
roots were, and how high their costs were
for me. I wanted to be as kind, good, and
likable as possible because I had grown up
feeling wrong and shunned. I never wanted
to be mean, or feel anger or hatred, because
those would indicate that I was “giving in” to
my family’s ideas about me.
When we do not honor an aspect of
ourselves, such as anger, we don’t make
it go away. Instead, it retreats into the
background―but it’s always running behind
the scenes, influencing our decisions and
fueling our false selves. If we don’t look at the
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parts of us that we find unacceptable, we can
never be whole. However, when we find the
courage to look at those “shadow” aspects of
ourselves―those painful parts we don’t want
anyone to see, or that we’ve pushed down―
and bring them to light, we no longer need to
spend energy feeding the false selves that
protect those vulnerable parts of us. We can
simply be more of who we are.
Two Inner Voices
Along with the aspects of ourselves which
we suppress, the superego (aka, the inner
critic) loves to build up our false selves.
When my Diamond Heart teacher and I first
started working with the superego, I was
so relieved to learn that I wasn’t the only
one in the world who would beat myself up
over every little transgression! This cruel,
derogatory voice inside was part of the
human condition. Who knew?
We would never talk with others the way we
talk to ourselves. And just because our inner
critic says something doesn’t make it true!
When we can differentiate the messages of
the superego from our true knowing, we can
disengage from them and instead look for
our real inner wisdom. Doing this work has
been immensely freeing for me, and has
brought a greater sense of peace to my life.
Along with the Enneagram work, teaching
clients to recognize and override the
superego is a primary focus of my coaching
work. When we can identify where and how
our superego is running our lives, and learn
to disengage from it, we can finally clear a
path to inner peace.
Our superego can take on many forms. It can
be quiet and insidious, or very obvious and