Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Feb/Mar 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 47

If Sharon’s story sounds at all familiar,
you are not alone. Many women struggle
with worry and anxiety over the course of
their lives. And many of them overcome
it, learning how to keep anxious thoughts
and feelings from invading and running
their lives. Perhaps Sharon’s story sounds
different from or more extreme than the
worry you experience. Or maybe worry
affects your life in some other way. If so,
don’t lose hope—this book is for any woman
who worries more than she thinks she needs
to, regardless of what the worry is about or
how many symptoms she experiences.
WHAT IS WORRY?
Although we all know what worry is firsthand,
it can be a bit tricky to define. How can you tell
when you’re worrying as opposed to simply
thinking about something? Most people
consider it worry when they’re thinking
negatively or pessimistically about an
upcoming situation or when they’re second-
guessing themselves about something
that has already happened. When people
worry, they are usually questioning, What if
something goes wrong, or has already gone
wrong, and I can’t cope with it? If they keep
asking themselves these questions without
resolution, they become more and more
anxious. For this reason, worry is usually
considered to be the thinking component of
anxiety. It’s what you are saying to yourself
when you’re anxious, usually in anticipation
of some future outcome or event.
Another benefit of our ability to think ahead
is that it allows us to anticipate and solve
potential problems even before they occur.
In this case, thinking about the future leads
to action that provides a specific solution to
a specific problem at hand. For example,
imagine you arrive at work one morning
and your boss tells you you’ll have to work
through your lunch hour. But you already
have a lunch meeting scheduled with a
friend. Realizing that you’ll soon be expected
in two different places at once presents you
with a very specific problem to be solved.
Once you’ve identified the problem, you
can start generating possible solutions,
weigh them all out, and then act on the best
possible choice. You might decide to resolve
the situation by telling your boss you already
have plans, or by rescheduling your lunch with
your friend. In other words, you can effectively
solve a specific problem by thinking ahead a
few hours and taking action.
On the other hand, worry quickly results if
you try to solve vague problems, try to solve
problems without solutions, or try to prevent
something from happening that probably
never will happen. If no specific problem exists
or if there are no specific solutions under your
control, the whole process falls apart. Instead
of lowering your anxiety or stress level by
providing a sense of resolution, thinking
ahead has only generated more anxiety. This
type of thinking is considered worry.
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Eventually, Sharon began to worry about all
of this too. She worried about the fact that
she worried so much, wondering where this
was all heading. How can I continue to live
this way? she thought. What if I’m wearing
myself down and missing out on the best
years of my life? Sharon felt ashamed and
embarrassed by her worry. She also felt
helpless, not knowing what else to do. It was
as if worry was a dark cloud following her
around wherever she went: What if I don’t
finish this project by four o’clock? How will I
be able to leave work on time to pick up the
kids? I’m so exhausted. How am I going to
get through another day without any sleep?
And what if I get sick again? I can’t afford
any more time off from work.