Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Feb/Mar 2019 Aspire Magazine Full Issue | Page 65

And, it’s not your partner’s fault either.
Why?
Demand Relationship is when you say to
your partner, Because NO BODY likes to be controlled or
manipulated.
“I’m not really happy with this. You need to
change it.” And you know this, because you HATE it
when someone tries to control or manipulate
you? Am I right?
“I don’t like that tone. Please stop using that
tone with me.”
“I don’t like the way [this] is going in the
house. This needs to change.”
Demand Relationship is when you tell other
people what they need to do or change to
make you happy (to be more pleasing to you).
This is pretty much how relationship has
worked for centuries. The problem is, Demand
Relationship only works when one person in
the relationship is not free to go.
Many years ago, that was the case. Men had
the power in the relationship and a woman
did not. What the man said went, and women
learned how to please, compromise or use
other tactics in order to try to get their own
needs met.
However, when both people in the relationship
are free, Demand Relationship fails. If all
that has been going on in a relationship
has been Demand Relationship tactics
(demands, guilt, shame, blame, criticism),
eventually the non-power player, who is free
to go, will reach what we call THRESHOLD,
and it looks something like this…
A few decades ago, in many parts of the
world, women became free. We could have
our own money, buy our own homes and
take care of our own families. And around
the same time, divorce became legal and
men also became free to go.
People started doing the classic Demand
Relationship exit…leaving.
Most people leave to go find a better Demand
Relationship player, right? One who will treat
us nicer, better [insert yours here].
Or if we have been the non-power player,
sometimes we leave the relationship
thinking, “Screw this. I’m tired of being the
loser in my relationships. I’m going to find
a non-power player partner (someone I
can get my way with) and I’m going to be in
charge next time!”
Demand Relationship is falling apart at such
epic rates, it’s everywhere you look.
The pain is so great, people are almost
giving up on relationship as a thing because
they mistakenly think Demand Relationship
is relationship.
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The truth is, the reason why nothing has
worked yet to fix your relationship is the
difference between Demand Relationship™
and Relationship Development ® .
“I am the fuck outta here! I’ve had it. I don’t
need your money. I don’t need this house. I’ll
take the kids and get my own place. I don’t
need your shit anymore. I’m done.”