Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Feb/Mar 2019 Aspire Magazine Full Issue | Page 48

Ditch the Labels You’ve Been
LIVING BY
BY DEBORAH KEVIN
B
rainy. Black sheep. Outcast. Needy.
Questioner. Troublemaker. New girl. Shy.
These were all labels assigned to me by
others at some point in my life. Most of them
weren’t flattering or were outright false and,
if truth be told, weren’t ones that served me
by accepting them. Which got me to thinking
about labels: those assigned to us and
others we adopted.
I wear labels based upon fact: mom,
daughter, sister, aunt, college graduate, ex-
wife. I’ve labeled myself as a friend, traveler,
bibliophile, art lover, philanthropist, among
others. Chosen labels feel aligned with who
I really am. Even so, I’m much more than the
labels I wear.
The real problem with labels is, while they
can show someone—even ourselves—a
glimmer of who we are, they can’t show the
whole picture. Labels that are damaging to
our self-worth often live subcutaneously as
if on the dark web, doing as much damage
as a hacker does to a secure site.
According to Psychology Today, a 1930s
linguist Benjamin Whorf hypothesized that
“the words we use to describe what we see
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aren’t just idle placeholders—they actually
determine what we see.” Ouch. So our
words really do matter because they shape
our perception.
If you consider Univeral Laws, what we think
about we bring about. If I believe the label
that I’m bitchy, then I’ll act differently than if I
reframe that thought to, “I was feeling cranky
at that moment.” In the former case, I am
assigned a trait based on my behavior; in
the latter, I’m accountable for my feelings.
Here’s a truth: labels divide us. Even
the labels we’ve chosen for ourselves.
Additionally, labeling reduces our ability to
show empathy. For example, when we label
someone as a “strong-willed troublemaker,”
it may be difficult to empathize and realize
she’s simply feeling frustrated.
In today’s particularly divisive environment,
using labels allows us to separate ourselves
from those who are different than us. We can
put others in a box simply by assigning a label.
Straight. Gay. Transgender. Male. Female.
White. Black. Single. Married. Divorced.
Christian. Muslim. Jewish. Republican.
Democrat. The labels are endless.
www.AspireMAG.net | February / March 2019