Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec19/Jan20 Aspire Mag FINAL | Page 62

4
Learning the Lessons
As soon as you begin to “turn a regrettable
moment into a teachable moment,” as
Jonah Lehrer says, the brain begins to
shift how it is perceiving and responding to
the event. Finding the silver lining, finding
the gift in the mistake, is considered to be
the turning point in the process of post-
traumatic growth. Learning the lessons in
the event is fundamentally useful, not just
for coping better in the future but for coping
better right now.
5
Creating a Coherent
Narrative of the Event
By placing a previously or potentially
traumatizing event in the larger context of
your life, you create a more vivid sense of
past, present, and future. (The sense of
continuity of self over time is one of the
integrative functions of the prefrontal cortex.)
You can begin to find a deeper sense of
meaning and purpose for your life, not just
in spite of the event but often because of the
event. Your resilience begins to generate a
genuine sense of thriving and flourishing.
When you pull resilience practices together
—mindfully practicing gratitude while walking
in nature with a friend, calling on your
compassionate friend to soothe the distress
of any inner part—your resilience becomes
almost unshakeable. You will be equipped
to cope with anything and everything, and to
trust that you can cope.
Excerpted from the book Resilience: Powerful Practices
for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty,
and Even Disaster. Copyright ©2018 by Linda Graham.
Printed with permission from New World Library — www.
newworldlibrary.com.
Linda Graham, MFT - Linda is the author of Resilience and also
Bouncing Back, the winner of a 2013 Books for a Better Life Award.
She is an experienced psychotherapist who integrates modern
neuroscience, mindfulness practices, and relational psychology in
her international trainings on resilience and well-being. Visit her
online at www.lindagraham-mft.net.
“By placin
or potentia g a previously
ll
event in th y traumatizing
e l
of your life arger context
,
more vivid you create a
sen
present, an se of past,
d future.”
Linda G
raham,
62
MFT
www.AspireMAG.net | December 2019 / January 2020