Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec19/Jan20 Aspire Mag FINAL | Page 47

I’m never going to get to all the shoulds
because, for one thing, the space-time
continuum does not allow for that possibility.
Even if I could, most of those things will
not actually make my life better or happier
or simpler or more fulfilling. But I will still
investigate every single one of them,
because should feels like an assignment,
and I have always been a good student.
I’ll even research things I already know
I don’t want to do. Someone could say to
me, “Instead of bathing your children, you
should really have them licked by goats,”
and I would sit down and research all the
reasons that goat spit is not a substitute for
baby soap, just in case it ever comes up in
conversation again.
This could be a full-time job, and it’s not
even a job I like. Or get paid for.
I know that every person you meet has
something to teach you, but maybe that’s not
the same thing as letting someone assign
you a research paper every time you meet
up for a cup of chai.
I’d been hearing “you should . . .” and
thinking it was a list of things to do. When I
started listening, though, I discovered that’s
not what it was at all. When someone said
I “should,” they were really trying to tell me
something about themselves, something
about what they choose or what they love or
what they want to see in the world.
When I heard “you should,” sometimes it
WHEN SOMEONE
SAID I “SHOULD,”
THEY WERE REALLY
TRYING TO TELL
ME SOMETHING
ABOUT THEMSELVES,
SOMETHING
ABOUT WHAT THEY
CHOOSE OR WHAT
THEY LOVE OR
WHAT THEY WANT
TO SEE IN THE
WORLD.
mention buy a sundress and a new necklace
to wear, and then stop for coffee afterward—
my phone can give me a whole evening plan
in one scroll through Instagram).
really meant “I love,” or, “I want to.” Or
sometimes it meant, “I’m being brave and
trying something new, but I feel alone and I
need support.”
“You should read this book,” meant “I love
this book.”
“You should try the cheese,” meant “I think
it’s tasty.”
“You should take this class,” meant “I like the
idea of this class.”
“You should take that leap,” meant “I dig
calculated risks.”
“You should come, too,” meant “I am nervous
about going.”
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