Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec/Jan 2019 Aspire Magazine Final - Page 72

they release them in destructive ways. Of course, many children, like Marisa, have challenges disconnecting from screens, which we will discuss shortly. As adults we also need to take responsibility for our choices and for how we connect with or disconnect from our children. Mike, Marisa’s dad, took an authoritarian approach with his daughter (think: My way or the highway), and it backfired on him in the form of a tantrum. I suspect if he had emotionally attuned and connected to Marisa and helped her feel seen, she may have moved through her emotions easier. But maybe not —sometimes things just go off the rails, and we need to begin again. Eventually there’s a day when instead of a breakdown, your child has a breakthrough, and this is what we’re aiming for. Avoid this: Marisa’s dad lost his cool and became very angry. When we lose it and raise our voices, we give our children permission to do the same. So the more we learn how to stay sane, even in the stressful moments of getting the children out the door in the morning, the better we model positive emotional health. Of course, this doesn’t mean we need to be perfect but simply honest, respectful, and authentic. And if we mess up (as we’re bound to do), a sincere apology helps repair the parent-child relationship. Excerpted from the book The Emotionally Healthy Child. Copyright ©2018 by Maureen Healy. Printed with permission from New World Library—www. Maureen Healy - Maureen Healy is the author of The Emotionally Healthy Child and Growing Happy Kids, which won the Nautilus and Readers’ Favorite book awards in 2014. A popular Psychology Today blogger and sought-after public speaker, Maureen runs a global mentoring program for elementary-aged children and works with parents and their children in her busy private practice. Visit her online at “As adults w take respon e also need to si choices and bility for our connect wi for how we th or from our c disconnect hildren.” Mauree n Healy 72 | December 2018 / January 2019