Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec/Jan 2019 Aspire Magazine Final - Page 67

encounter thousands of people in my lifetime, and I can’t control every moment of my life. My standard is about ME. It’s not demanding that anyone else change to serve life up to me the way I want it. Sometimes crappy things happen. Sometimes people say stupid shit to you that is just mean. We can’t STOP them. We can’t keep putting up boundaries telling other people how THEY have to be in order to be with us. We need to OWN ourselves. Know our standards. Live from those standards. And if something happens that is below our standards, trust ourselves to HANDLE IT! Fix it or remove yourself. Don’t ask the OTHER person to change. It’s not their job to be who you need them to be in this lifetime. Boundaries are limits you put up out of fear and try to demand that others honor those limits and not cross them. The problem with a boundary is that while it might keep others out, it also keeps you LOCKED IN. Boundaries come from fear. Fear is holding up those walls that you put up to protect you. Standards come from courage. The willingness to go through life fully present, open and vulnerable, owning who you are, knowing your worth and with the courage to navigate what comes your way. BOUNDARIES COME FROM FEAR. FEAR IS HOLDING UP THOSE WALLS THAT YOU PUT UP TO PROTECT YOU. Decide for YOURSELF. Decide for YOU what is OK with you and what is NOT. Standards are within you. They allow you to have fully connected and vulnerable relationships with the people in your life. Can you FEEL the difference between Standards and Boundaries? You can give unconditional love and become unshakable! 67 My standard is that I will not be in a relationship where I get hit. That doesn’t mean I will NEVER be hit. It means that if something like that were to happen, I would not stay in that relationship because it dropped below my standard. Standards are within YOU, they are about YOU owning yourself and not being afraid of whatever might come your way, because you will handle it.