Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec/Jan 2019 Aspire Magazine Final | Page 66

A STANDARD IS A
LEVEL OF EXISTENCE
THAT YOU HAVE FOR
YOURSELF THAT YOU
WILL NOT DROP
BELOW.
How do we create relationships, where we
own our self-worth, and we are not “walked
all over” without using boundaries as a tool?
That is a Quality Question! Great question!!!
You do that with STANDARDS, Ownership
and an elevated skill set.
What is a Standard?
A standard is a level of existence that you
have for yourself that you will not drop below.
For instance, I have a standard for myself
that I will not do drugs. That’s not who I am.
I will not fall below my standard for myself.
I don’t need ANYONE else to change. I don’t
judge anyone else for how they live their life
or whether they do drugs or not.
This is a standard just for ME. It’s about me
OWNING who I really am and knowing the
limit below which I will not fall.
Standards are not RULES. Rules are just a
tool that people use to try to exert control
over others. We are not talking about rules
here. We are talking about STANDARDS
that you have for YOURSELF.
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Notice, my standard is for ME. I don’t need
anyone else to cooperate with me. I know
my standards for myself and I won’t drop
below them. And if, by fluke, I do… it won’t
last, because I’m just not myself if I drop
below my standards. I will come back to me
and live by my standard.
That’s clear when it’s a standard just for
yourself, but how about in relationships with
other people?
In my relationship, I have a standard that I
will not be a woman who is hit.
That’s my standard. I won’t fall below that.
Now, here’s where I want to show you
the difference between a standard and
a boundary.
A standard is fully within my power and
about me.
If someone I am in relationship with hits me,
I will not stay in the situation where that is
happening.
Here’s the thing, life happens. People get
hit. It sucks and none of us want that, but we
can’t control the world and sometimes shitty
things happen. I’ve been hit, maybe you’ve
been hit. I’m not belittling it or making it ok.
I’m actually making a point.
I can’t STOP everyone in the world from
doing something to me. What I can do is
change my life and my decisions to make
myself someone who is much less likely to
end up in that situation. But let’s be honest,
life is long and there are people all over the
place and I can’t control other people. I hope
and pray that for the rest of my life I will be a
woman who doesn’t get hit, but I’m bound to
www.AspireMAG.net | December 2018 / January 2019