Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Dec/Jan 2019 Aspire Magazine Final | Page 53

1. A
 SSUMPTIONS We learn from past
experience, and based on that experience
we sometimes think we know more than
we know. We filter our perceptions of
reality through those assumptions rather
than seeing clearly what is actually true or
needed now.
2. P
 ROJECTIONS We assume that what
we have learned is true for ourselves is
true for other people as well. We project
our assumptions onto them, usually
without their knowledge or permission,
abandoning theory of mind.
3. OBJECTIFICATION We lose the sense
of ourselves or another person as an active
agent of changing experience. Instead we
see ourselves (and others) as an object, a
thing, an “It” at the mercy of external events
and other people’s choices, powerless to
change our experience (or our responses
to it).
4. M
 IND READING We presume we know
what another person is thinking, feeling,
or needing without empathically checking
with them. Or we may presume that the
other person already knows what we think
or need without bothering to tell them
directly: “If you loved me, you would know
how I feel.”
“WHEN
NEGATIVE
THINKING
CHANGES,
EVERYTHING
CHANGES.”
HERE’S A LIST OF
COMMON THOUGHT
PROCESSES THAT
HUMAN BEINGS
USE TO FILTER THEIR
EXPERIENCE.
– Toni Sorenson
5. D
 ISCOUNTING THE POSITIVE We fail
to register positive traits in ourselves or
in others, belittling ourselves, devaluing
others, and deflecting or neglecting
appreciation in either direction.
6. OVERGENERALIZING
We
may
exaggerate attributes of an experience,
perceiving things as global and pervasive,
applying to everything and everybody;
we see things as “always” or “never.” We
may take things personally whether or
not that’s true or relevant, seeing things
as permanent and unchanging. (This
overgeneralizing is known as the three Ps:
pervasive, personal, permanent.)
7. CATASTROPHIZING We may immediately
assume the worst: if we sneeze, we assume
we’re catching a cold, which means missing
work for three weeks, which means losing
the job, which means losing our home —
from sniffle to disaster in less than three
seconds.
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