Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Aug/Sept 2019 Aspire Mag FINAL | Page 67

Now, before you get too upset and turn the
page, understand this: personal responsibility
is not saying that “you” are to blame.
Everything is not ALL YOUR FAULT.
That does not fix a situation. Deciding to
stop blaming others and start BLAMING
yourself for everything is NOT Relationship
Development ® ,
it’s
still
Demand
Relationship™.
There are TWO sides to Demand
Relationship™, the Power Player (making
the demands) and the Non-Power Player
(being the pleaser). You’ve probably been in
BOTH of those roles at times, right? You’re
probably in ONE of those roles right now in
your relationship.
Going from blaming him (you being the
power player) to blaming yourself and
making YOU wrong (the non-power player),
is just YOU flipping from one end of Demand
Relationship to the other end of Demand
Relationship. And ALL Demand Relationship
breaks DOWN relationships. It’s all crap.
So what is the Relationship Development®
solution?
Stop blaming and start taking Personal
Responsibility. Here’s the KEY….
Fault and responsibility do not go together.
Personal Responsibility is NOT a dirty word!
It doesn’t mean that everything is your fault.
It doesn’t mean that you are bad. People
have confused personal responsibility for
FAULT and they are shying away from taking
personal responsibility for ANYTHING so as
not to be at FAULT.
You are giving away ALL your power when
you refuse to take personal responsibility
and you BLAME others.
We already redefined BLAME for you to be
more accurate. Now it’s time to redefine your
definition of personal responsibility.
Just because “it’s not your fault” doesn’t
mean you don’t have the “response-ability”
to fix it.
Will Smith framed it out so well when he said,
“Fault and responsibility don’t go together.
It sucks, but they don’t. … Your life, your
happiness is your responsibility and your
responsibility alone.”
It is not about fault, it’s all about empowerment.
Unhinge fault and responsibility. And even
if something is somebody else’s fault, take
personal responsibility for fixing it because
you’re living in the results of it - always.
As I always say, “Everyone lives in the results
of the decisions that they make.
There are no exceptions!”
When you take personal responsibility to fix
something, you get to live in those results.
When you blame someone else, your quality
of life is in someone else’s hands and you
live in those results.
It’s not about fault; it’s all about your
empowerment. You HAVE the power to do
this! It’s a skillset and it can be learned.
I wanted to make sure I addressed this
piece about fault because the Demand
Relationship™ mindset can really run deep.
And we’ve been wired to believe that if you
give up blaming others, then you give up
being the power player (winner) in Demand
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I am not saying you start blaming yourself
for everything. That is still Demand
Relationship™, it’s just doing it to yourself
instead of someone else.
STOP IT.