Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) April/May 2020 Aspire Magazine FULL Issue | Page 79

Your Child Isn’t The
One Triggering You
In Demand Parenting, we are focused on
controlling our kids behavior so things can
be the way we think they need to be. So we
push, then we yell, then we try not to yell and
we bring kindness… and NOTHING works,
so we go back to yelling.
Demand Parenting, where we try to control
our kids behavior by telling them how they
need to change, does NOT work.
Neither does the “free for all” approach of
letting kids just do “whatever” and having no
order or predictable patterns.
What does work?
Instead of nagging them to study and
correcting their homework and riding them
about their grades… we allow them to live in
I’m NOT saying to just RELEASE all control
and have NO rules and the kids do whatever.
In Relationship Development® Parenting,
we teach how to parent in a way that creates
harmony in your home and BUILDS UP your
relationship with your child at the same time.
The key is to understand our role in parenting:
to teach THEM how to navigate life, not to
control them and their lives. What we do for
our kids, needs to be for THEM and what
they need, not for US and what we want.
So, when someone asks us, “How do I get
my kid to stop pushing my buttons?”
The truth is, your child isn’t triggering you—
you are allowing yourself to be triggered.
Your triggers are YOURS. Your spouse,
your kids… their job is to SHOW you your
triggers, not solve them for you.
The parents that have implemented our
Relationship Development Parenting tools
& processes are enjoying harmony in their
homes, things getting done and moving
smoothly… and, most importantly, they are
building rapport with their children, they are
becoming the ONE that their child comes
to for guidance, they are developing their
relationship with each child!
But how do you step out of Demand
Parenting and into Relationship Development
Parenting?
1 Become aware: Notice when you are
pushing because it’s what YOU need
to be happy or quell your own trigger.
79
The key is to
understand our
role in parenting:
to teach THEM how
to navigate life, not
to control them
and their lives.
the consequences of their own results and
LEARN from life.