Aspire Magazine: Inspiration for a Woman's Soul.(TM) Apr/May 2018 Aspire Magazine Full Issue | Page 80

Foundation # 2:
Give Guidance – Not Advice
You can give guidance and suggestions,
but you should never give someone direct
advice on what they “Should” or “Need”
to do. Truly, you don’t know what another
person should do because we all have
different personalities, life circumstances
and values. You can always share what you
did if you were in a similar situation. You
can suggest ideas that might be helpful by
saying: Have you thought about this option
or way of thinking?
Foundation # 3:
Choose Your Words Wisely
One of the key essential foundations to
living with grace is to be extremely aware
of your words. Words are extremely
powerful, especially if someone is in a
vulnerable situation. So often, people try
to think of the right things to say to comfort
someone. Consequently, these words can
have the complete opposite reaction and
cause a great deal of pain to the person
that is vulnerable.
Examples of responses that are often used
that can be hurtful:
Death of a loved one: I’m so sorry for your
loss; I know exactly how you feel; Everything
happens for a reason; I feel so sorry for you;
You will get over it soon, it just takes time;
This is just the normal process of life; I know
how you feel.
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www.AspireMAG.net | April / May 2019
One of the
key essential
foundations to living
with grace is to be
extremely aware of
your words.
Victims of Domestic Violence: I feel so
sorry for you; You will get over this soon;
You are so lucky to be without him/her; He/
she didn’t love you if they abused you; Why
didn’t you tell anyone?
Divorce/Breakup: It wasn’t meant to be;
You will be over it soon; You need to start
dating; You need to just get over it.
Personal Diagnosis or Family Member
Diagnosed With a Health Condition: You
will be fine; At least it isn’t something life-
threatening; I know someone that had the
same condition so I know you will be fine;
Everything happens for a reason.
Family Member or Friend Commits
Suicide: Everything happens for a reason;
I’m so sorry, suicide is so selfish; How could
they do this to you? Did you know they were
depressed?
Someone experiencing depression, anxiety
or loneliness: You need to get out of bed and
you will feel better; You just need to be around
people and you will feel better; Why are you
sad? You have everything going for you?
Failed Adoption/Fertility: At least you
weren’t actually pregnant; It wasn’t meant to