Asian LEADER 17
1 Jan - 14 Jan 2014
Faz’s Forum
Community’s voice
F
irst of all a very Happy
New Year and I hope
everyone enjoyed the
holidays. As 2014 starts we
will be thinking where the
whole year just disappeared
to and many will be thinking
about how fast it flew by. As
we enter 2014 there will be
many of you who will have
decided to do something different this year and make a
resolution. It is common that
people do make them however they only keep going
and stick to them for the first
couple of days or weeks but
as the days and weeks go by
the resolution tends to come
to a halt.
A friend of mine last year
said to me that he will not
be going to the sales after
Christmas and New Year as
he ends up spending money
on too many unnecessary
items and clothing. Once he
gets home he realises that he
has spent too much than he
could afford but still decides
to stick to them. However
H
ave you ever taken
some time out of
your busy life just to
evaluate your life, your relationship with your friends
and family, your work, your
health, your relationship
with God.
It is very important at
times to take some time out
just to reflect upon some of
the things in our life. We need
to realise that we can never
be content in material things
of life we will always desire to
want more. When we make
a list of things we wish to
achieve we need to be realistic about our list. If the list
is too long then we have a
problem in trying to achieve
all our goals.
Are there lessons that we
can learn from the past and
perhaps make some simple
changes so that these mistakes are not repeated again
this year? It is important to
reflect upon these things so
that in 2014 we can begin to
focus upon becoming better
individuals. How can we be a
better husband, wife, parent,
child, brother, sister or friend
with better morals? Once
we reflect upon improving
ourselves as individuals only
then will we be able to make
real changes towards a har-
Managaing Director
Mohamed Parwez
when the credit card bills arrive through the post that’s
when he wishes that he
hadn’t spent too much. This
is the case with many of us
however if you have a resolution this year I suggest you
try to stick to it.
Last year I made a few
resolutions myself however
due to lack of willingness
I only managed to achieve
a few goals. One of them
was based on improving my
health. I enjoy my junk food
and I decided that in 2013 I
will cut down on my junk intake. So in order to try and
fulfil that resolution I decided to seek help and advice.
I managed to get a personal
health trainer and after a
couple of weeks of planning,
consultations, setting targets and goals and changing eating habits, I managed
to make a big difference to
my health. The targets were
small but they made a big
impact to my life. I successfully managed to make a
Happy New Year
lifestyle change through this
heath trainer service provided by my local council. These
types of goals are not easy to
achieve. You do need confidence and the will power and
some support and
motivation from
family and
friends.
Whatever
new things
you
feel
you want
to do in
life, or if you feel you want to
start afresh then it is never
too late. Anything is possible. You just need to focus,
seek relevant advice from
the right people and you can
achieve your goals and ambitions.
I learn a lot in everyday
life through experience and
I would like to pass these
things to the readers too. I
remember a close friend and
colleague of mine who had
a terminal illness and was
told that he would only live
for
around
2
more
m o n t h s ;
however, because of his
willingness
and will power he stayed
another few
years.
Unfortunately
he died last year but what I
learnt from him was that you
have to be optimistic about
everything. He always did
something or the other rather than just sitting at home
doing nothing and getting
more ill. He stayed in touch
with friends and continued
with voluntary work and en-
joyed his time till the end.
He personally told me that
these sorts of things actually
helped him and I think that
time flies too fast and we will
not be able to get this time
back so it’s best to make
the most of it. I know everyone is busy whether you are
working or not, everyone has
something to do however as
the year starts, spend some
quality time with loved ones,
grandparents, parents, family members and make a resolution on taking some time
off for friends and family and
loved ones. You may have
elderly parents where you
may be seeing once a week.
Rather than once a week, go
see them more often. These
are the things that we won’t
regret because when people
die and loved ones are lost,
that’s when you wish that
you could go back in time.
For those who have illnesses, have hope, cherish
every moment and take each
day as it comes. Those who
Education corner
By Mrs N. Hameed
Reflection and the new year resolutions
monious family atmosphere
at home and outside our
homes.
How about resolutions?
It is true that many people
end up putting the same
resolutions on their list year
after year and not making it
much past the end of January before they are broken. If
this resonates with you, how
grea t would it be to achieve
your resolutions during 2014
and not experience that
Groundhog Day moment
when you’re writing your list
next year? Here are a few
principles that might help.
1. Be specific and realistic
about your goal.
Your unconscious mind
likes specifics and to achieve
your goal it must be realistically achievable too. If
you are intending to lose
weight, write down exactly
how much weight you would
like to loose and then break
it down into manageable
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chunks (for example, studies show that 2lb a week is a
healthy target for most people). If fitness is one of your
resolutions, what exactly
does that mean to you? For
some, a fitness goal might be
walking up the escalators or
stairs on the way to work and
for others, taking part in a
charity run. If you would like
to reduce your debts, then
work out specifically where
you will make savings, how
much, and keep a record of
them in a notebook to remind you of how well you are
doing.
2. Record the positives
If you slip up once in a
while, it’s okay - everyone’s
human.
However,
often
where people go wrong is to
focus on the slip-up instead
of all the good things they
have achieved along the way.
Keep a success diary and, in
the evening, write down three
positive things to do with
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your resolution that you have
experienced during your day.
It doesn’t matter if you have
more than three things, but
write down at least three.
They can be big or small, it
really doesn’t matter, but it
just helps prime your mind
for the following day and
serves as a record if you start
to get despondent.
3. Understand that all behaviour has a purpose
Research has shown that
your unconscious mind controls approximately 90% of
everything you do. If you are
struggling with something
that you feel ‘should’ be a lot
easier than it is, perhaps your
unconscious has a different
plan for you. Maybe it’s time
to start to work with it rather
than against it? Throughout
our childhood we all receive
‘post-hypnotic’ suggestions
from parents, teachers etc.
What were you told that
might have stuck? Some of
my clients report phrases
such as “You’ll never get anywhere in life if you act like
that”, “All the women in our
family are obese”, “You’re so
stupid”. Our immature childhood mind then processes
these and locks them away
in our unconscious ready to
comply when necessary. This
can then lead to a failure to
achieve what we are trying
so hard to overcome - resulting in carrying excess weight,
drinking too much, not
achieving at work - basically a
feeling that something is well
and truly holding you back.
The good news is that these
patterns can be changed
and, with the right help, often quicker than you might
imagine. I know people who
work with many clients who
go from that stuck feeling to
achieving things they once
didn’t think possible. If this
sounds like you, do have a
look into how Cognitive Hypnotherapy might help.
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are healthy look after your
health and do something
that will make a difference
both to your life and to someone else’s life.
Whilst writing this article
I remembered a very elderly
person who has gone back to
studying and has completed
it even though his family said
to him that he was too old
to go back into education.
He has actually finished his
studies now and he is now
teaching. When I asked him
what made him go to study
he said to me that life is all
about learning. This taught
me that whatever age you
are, it is never too late to do
something that you have always wanted. Take this time
and opportunity to do something you have always wanted and follow your dreams.
As for me I am thinking
of some new initiatives and
I pray that everyone has a
blessed and prosperous new
year.
4. Reward yourself
We are naturally motivated
to move towards pleasure
and reward and away from
pain, so build in targets that
you can reward yourself for. It
can be anything that makes
you happy. Why not make a
list of ways to pamper yourself and build it into a schedule of achievement? This also
means that in order to make
a goal achievable we need
to frame with the language
of reward. Not ‘I must go to
the gym more’, but perhaps
‘I want to feel healthy and
fit and full of energy’. Not ‘I
must be less stressed’, but
perhaps ‘I would like to be
more relaxed and laid back’’
5. Visualise yourself having
achieved your goal
To help guide your unconscious in the way it supports
you, spend a few minutes
each day going out to an
imagined time in the future
when you have achieved
your goal. Really work up
this image by picturing that
you in the future as strongly as possible. Everything
about the way you look, how
positively you’re interacting
with the people around you,
how they’re interacting with
you.
Continued on Page 16
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