ASEAN Life Vol: 2 March - May 2014 - Page 12

southeast asian relationships Thailand, traditional courting stages can still the dowry is a very important factor that will be witnessed as well as in a few provinces in determine whether the parents will give their the Philippines. daughter’s hand in marriage to the guy or not. During the first stages of courtship, the In most cases, the dowry comes in the form couple is expected to go out with friends. of cash or special gifts for the girl’s family. They get to know each other’s sets of friends Buddhist families are also known for making and establish a good relationship with them donations to the monks. If both sides agree as well. The moment the girl agrees to going to the amount, the wedding will definitely out on private dates such as exclusive dinners push through. or movie dates, it is a sign for the man to take things to the next level. This is when relationships start to form. The Wedding Southeast Asian wedding traditions and rituals are among the most colorful in the In most Southeast Asian relationships, an engagement can last for quite some time. world. From the location of the wedding down to the wedding costumes, all Southeast Asian weddings are a joy to watch. For the Buddhists, especially in other better and see if they really are meant Singapore, Thailand and Myanmar, wedding for each other. The most common reason is ceremonies are traditionally done at home. that a grand wedding has to be prepared. In Today, it can be in any chosen place such as the Philippines, pamamanhikan or “asking for hotels, gardens or restaurants. For Muslim the parents’ permission to marry” should be weddings such as in Indonesia and Malaysia, done first before all wedding arrangements the wedding ritual usually takes place in a are set. The same thing is done in Malaysia. house. For Filipino Catholics, it is the practice The traditional engagement ceremony ©Odua Images- Fotolia This is essential for the couple to know each Traditional java wedding couple husband and wife hold each other © stationidea- Fotolia The Engagement Stage to be married in a church. golden tray flower use for Thai wedding ceremony In almost all Southeast Asian countries, the dowry is a very important factor that will determine whether the parents will give their daughter’s hand in marriage to the guy or not. is called pertunangan. Both families are Wedding costumes are also expected to in a process called sanuk. This is where he has each of the couple’s families. In some Muslim expected to bring gifts and talk about the be colorful. Malays wear the traditional Baju to pass certain challenges, mostly teasing families in Southern Philippines, it can even wedding plans. In Thailand, Cambodia, Melayu and everyone attending the ceremony from male relatives or family and guests go on for months especially for those who and Laos, choosing the right date and time is expected to do the same. Burmese are asking him to hurdle certain challenges come from rich families. Filipinos and Thais for the wedding is done carefully. Some also expected to wear their traditional attire before he can actually reach the bride. In the perform a ritual of freeing birds during the Establishing a romantic relationship in Southeast Asian countries takes longer compared consult astrologers for auspicious dates. adorned with jewelry and other ornaments. Philippines, it is the other way around. The wedding reception. Gifts are also expected to to Western countries. Generally, several processes are involved before a couple could start a Most believe that nine is a lucky date, and In Cambodia, Myanmar and the Philippines, bride is the one who has to do a procession pour in. Traditional dances can also be seen serious relationship. Culture and tradition have much to do with this. Traditionally, Southeast some schedule their wedding at 9:09 in the there is usually a wedding motif in which while the groom waits inside the church. as well as other performances. Even if there Asian women are conservative. Thus, they tend to be reserved and do not enter into a morning to ensure luck. everyone wears a dress from the same color It is also important for them not to meet are differences, one thing is certain: there will palette. before the actual wedding ceremony since be an almost-endless supply of drinks, food, it is deemed as bad luck. and celebrations! relationship without getting to really know the man. Engagements can be arranged by parents as well --- instead of the couples. The Courtship Stage Just like in Thailand, Cambodian This happens when the marriage is fixed or bridegrooms are the ones entering the Wedding receptions are almost the same Although it might seem tough to be in a In many countries, the term “courting” is not even familiar at all. This is the stage in which arranged. Nowadays, this is only practiced by wedding ven Ք