ASEAN Life Vol: 2 March - May 2014 | Page 12
southeast asian relationships
Thailand, traditional courting stages can still
the dowry is a very important factor that will
be witnessed as well as in a few provinces in
determine whether the parents will give their
the Philippines.
daughter’s hand in marriage to the guy or not.
During the first stages of courtship, the
In most cases, the dowry comes in the form
couple is expected to go out with friends.
of cash or special gifts for the girl’s family.
They get to know each other’s sets of friends
Buddhist families are also known for making
and establish a good relationship with them
donations to the monks. If both sides agree
as well. The moment the girl agrees to going
to the amount, the wedding will definitely
out on private dates such as exclusive dinners
push through.
or movie dates, it is a sign for the man to
take things to the next level. This is when
relationships start to form.
The Wedding
Southeast Asian wedding traditions and
rituals are among the most colorful in the
In most Southeast Asian relationships,
an engagement can last for quite some time.
world. From the location of the wedding down
to the wedding costumes, all Southeast Asian
weddings are a joy to watch.
For the Buddhists, especially in
other better and see if they really are meant
Singapore, Thailand and Myanmar, wedding
for each other. The most common reason is
ceremonies are traditionally done at home.
that a grand wedding has to be prepared. In
Today, it can be in any chosen place such as
the Philippines, pamamanhikan or “asking for
hotels, gardens or restaurants. For Muslim
the parents’ permission to marry” should be
weddings such as in Indonesia and Malaysia,
done first before all wedding arrangements
the wedding ritual usually takes place in a
are set. The same thing is done in Malaysia.
house. For Filipino Catholics, it is the practice
The traditional engagement ceremony
©Odua Images- Fotolia
This is essential for the couple to know each
Traditional java wedding
couple husband and wife
hold each other
© stationidea- Fotolia
The Engagement Stage
to be married in a church.
golden tray flower use for Thai wedding ceremony
In almost all Southeast Asian countries, the
dowry is a very important factor that will
determine whether the parents will give their
daughter’s hand in marriage to the guy or not.
is called pertunangan. Both families are
Wedding costumes are also expected to
in a process called sanuk. This is where he has
each of the couple’s families. In some Muslim
expected to bring gifts and talk about the
be colorful. Malays wear the traditional Baju
to pass certain challenges, mostly teasing
families in Southern Philippines, it can even
wedding plans. In Thailand, Cambodia,
Melayu and everyone attending the ceremony
from male relatives or family and guests
go on for months especially for those who
and Laos, choosing the right date and time
is expected to do the same. Burmese are
asking him to hurdle certain challenges
come from rich families. Filipinos and Thais
for the wedding is done carefully. Some
also expected to wear their traditional attire
before he can actually reach the bride. In the
perform a ritual of freeing birds during the
Establishing a romantic relationship in Southeast Asian countries takes longer compared
consult astrologers for auspicious dates.
adorned with jewelry and other ornaments.
Philippines, it is the other way around. The
wedding reception. Gifts are also expected to
to Western countries. Generally, several processes are involved before a couple could start a
Most believe that nine is a lucky date, and
In Cambodia, Myanmar and the Philippines,
bride is the one who has to do a procession
pour in. Traditional dances can also be seen
serious relationship. Culture and tradition have much to do with this. Traditionally, Southeast
some schedule their wedding at 9:09 in the
there is usually a wedding motif in which
while the groom waits inside the church.
as well as other performances. Even if there
Asian women are conservative. Thus, they tend to be reserved and do not enter into a
morning to ensure luck.
everyone wears a dress from the same color
It is also important for them not to meet
are differences, one thing is certain: there will
palette.
before the actual wedding ceremony since
be an almost-endless supply of drinks, food,
it is deemed as bad luck.
and celebrations!
relationship without getting to really know the man.
Engagements can be arranged by
parents as well --- instead of the couples.
The Courtship Stage
Just like in Thailand, Cambodian
This happens when the marriage is fixed or
bridegrooms are the ones entering the
Wedding receptions are almost the same
Although it might seem tough to be in a
In many countries, the term “courting” is not even familiar at all. This is the stage in which
arranged. Nowadays, this is only practiced by
wedding ven Ք