Arts, Crafts, Music, & Events of Breckinridge County Issue 8, January 2016 | Page 31

Mules
by Lois A. Tanner

I have a confession to make; I am a fan of mules. Why do I like them?
Well, there are a lot of reasons; let me try to explain. The first reason is
that I am pretty country inclined and not at all embarrassed by being that
way. If you know me very much, you will know you could ask me if I
wanted to vacation in Europe, and while I am sure Europe has many
lovely places that I would find beautiful, and while I am not knocking
Europe in any way, I am much more apt to say in response to this
question, “Well, you know that is a heck of a lot of packing, I don’t much
like flying, but, do you know instead where we could go and find peace
and quiet and the bluegills or catfish are biting?” If you ask me if I want a
five-star chef to cook my dinner, I will answer, “No thanks, I think I would
rather do it myself.” Why? If a chef prepares my meal, I am going to have
things like goose liver pâté’, escargots (nasty, slimy, snails), or calamari
(squids, that should have no purpose but to supply ink or bait for catfish).
If I cook my meal, I can have things like cream gravy, country fried steak,
dried northern beans with cornbread, cabbage, and fried potatoes on the
side, though hopefully, for health reasons, not all in one meal. If you ask
me if I want designer clothes or name brands, I will ask you first are the
comfortable, reasonably priced, and can they be washed in the washer
and dried in the dryer? If not, you can keep those fancy duds. If you ask
me if I want a pent house apartment in New York, I will answer that I
would rather have a log cabin off grid with solar power. I would rather
have a hound or a mutt than a poodle (don’t come after me poodle
lovers). I would rather walk in the soft grass in summer than wear the
most fashionable heels. I like a lot of different types of music, but, if I