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Biblical Fan Fiction & Orlando Fringe by Charlie Griffin
“ Be true to your own act , and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant , and broken the monotony of a decorous age . It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person , ‘ Always do what you are afraid to do .’” – Ralph Waldo Emeson
I ’ m an atheist . I ’ m an atheist who grew up half-heartedly Catholic , and during CCD ( Confraternity of Christian Doctrine ) classes , around age eleven or twelve , I worked drawings and commentary about my hamster into our assigned journals on Jesus and God ’ s presence in our lives at every opportunity . The fantastic stories in Greek and Roman mythology I was learning around the same time did not seem too different in tone or likelihood from Bible stories . The only difference , as far as I could tell , was that I was being told only some were true . I chose Thomas as my confi rmation name because it was the closest I could get to expressing my doubts at that age .
Yet , I went on to become a paid church singer during and after college for seven years at a Catholic church in Queens and an Episcopalian church on Long Island . This gave me long and regular exposure to Bible readings , sermons , and sacred music . I developed a love for the pageantry and drama surrounding the narrative arc of Jesus ’ story , and a fondness for the sense of community that a church can provide . As a composer , I have written many choral pieces for church and synagogue use , and don ’ t feel hypocritical about it , because I map my personal beliefs about my place in the universe and the beauty I fi nd in science and nature onto the monotheistic beliefs of the faithful .
I am raising two amazing sons without religion . They are good , loving , respectful , fl exible , curious , and every other favorable thing I could possibly imagine . And they have very little knowledge of Bible stories . So it made for a fascinating conversation one day about a year ago , as
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we drove past the Holy Land Experience , off I-4 , with its elaborate mural . We ’ d passed this building many times , but my older son noticed it for the fi rst time and asked about it . As a ten-year-old , his special curiosity about the image of the boat and the animals was unsurprising .
I proceeded to tell my sons the story of Noah and the Ark as neutrally as I could . Their questions were as much revelatory to me about their own sense of right and wrong as they were about the disturbing questions the Bible doesn ’ t address directly . God was unhappy with everyone ? Everyone ? Even the kids ? Why did the animals have to die ?
I began to think a lot about that story . What happened during those 40 days of rain ? How did people react to it ? Did anybody run for higher ground ? What about babies born after the rain started ? Did anybody get on or build boats of their own ? How would I feel and what would I do if I knew that the world was truly ending ? What would I tell my sons then ? These thoughts led to alternately humorous and deeply dark places .
I began telling people about my conversation with my sons and my subsequent musings and imaginings , and one of them made the comment that it “ would make a great show for the Fringe Festival .” As I ’ ve written about it in recent months , improv comedy is something that has become important to me , but I ’ d not considered the possibility of creating a show of my own . I looked into it and learned that the Orlando Fringe has a lottery process for its shows . That ’ s it . A lottery and nothing else . No curation . You sink or swim if you get in .
I recalled the year I ’ d ran my fi rst marathon in New York City . I ’ d caught a fl u that knocked me out of commission for a few weeks . I had been training in jiu-jitsu at the time , and when I went back into the
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