ARIES MAGAZINE 2014 MAY | Page 97

IN & OUT Don’t Let The Phases Get To You! So you just told your parents that you’re gay, let the phases begin.. Here’s what to look forward to and how to deal. DENIAL What Happens: Right now your parents are telling you that your not gay and hope that by helping out you will change. Getting Passed It: Explain to them that there is no changing you. It’s who you are and always have been. It just took some time for you to put two and two together. Give them time to mentally process the situation. Anger What Happens: They blame themselves for not being a better parent and ask why it happened to them. Getting Passed It: It’s not your fault and it’s not theirs. It how you feel and view the same sex. There is no right way to parent a child. If so, all adults would come out the same. So no one is to blame. Bargaining What Happens: There is a point in the conversation where they want you to date girls and give it a chance. “You haven’t met the right girl.” Getting Passed It: They are just thinking that it’s peer pressure or what everybody is saying about you. It’s not, don’t put yourself in that position. Explain to them that it wouldn’t be fair for you and the girls you go on dates with. Nobody should be used as a test subject. ARIES / M A Y 2 014 97