ARIES MAGAZINE 2014 MAY | Page 75

in a comfortable way (maybe over dinner or coffee) and try and find a neutral ground where he isn’t going to feel threatened. It’s important to level the playing field so that neither of you can make the other feel intimidated. I want you to tell your partner that you understand how he’s been feeling, but that you are also feeling very neglected or somewhat lacking in what you need sexually. Tell him how much you care about him and enjoy being in that moment with him. After you have said your peace, shut up and listen. Hear him out, and then the both of you can move on from there. Compromise It’s often said that at the end of negotiating, neither party ever gets everything they want, and you need to realize that going in. So, like in all relationships, you must make changes. If you want sex once a week and he likes it maybe once or twice a month, maybe you two can try for every other week. You’re still getting more than you were getting before and he doesn’t feel too overwhelmed by your oversexed cravings. Change the Way You Have Sex Think about the way in which you both have sex. Are you always doing it in the evenings when both of you have gotten off work and you’re still full steam ahead, and he is ready for sleep? Do you do it the same way every time (lets be honest missionary is boring)? It sounds like it is time for a change. What you need to do is try and have sex when it first enters your mind. Get a little spontaneous. If you’re at a gathering and your partner is looking sexy and getting you going, pull him away! Get home and get busy. You both need to shake things up once in a while to keep things exciting and not get stale. That makes for a very healthy sex life. So, I want you both to think about what you’ve always done and make appropriate changes within your comfort zones. Stress brought on by this tough economy could be one culprit that’s inhibiting male desire. Porn can make a mans libido not have any mojo for you. Sounds depressing, but it’s normal. Make it habit to show him that he can come to you to blow off some steam or stress. If you have talked to him and established that there is no other issues in the relationship, you are probably just deing with an everyay gap in the sexual desire department and just needs a little TLC. It will get back to were you guys should be. Change the Meaning of “Sex” Sex can be all kinds of things. You don’t have to go as far as penetration anymore for an act to be considered sex. (We live in a very freaky world now, after all!) This comes along with being spontaneous. We all know that screwing can take planning and preparation (especially if you’re a bottom) and after some time one of you could feel tired. It’s important that you both think outside the box and know that you have other options of pleasing each other. Maybe you could randomly blow him on a long car ride. One of you could try masturbating while the other makes out or teases him. Keep in mind too that sex doesn’t always have to be one long marathon either so spontaneous acts like these can still be hot and satisfy both of your thirsts without taking too much of your time or energies. Sex also doesn’t have to require one or both of you achieve an orgasm (sometimes it’s just fun!). Why is it such a bad thing if no one gets off? You [] 45% of readers say they’ve wanted more sex than their partner did. both are enjoying each other’s bodies and having a great time. It’s not like you’re playing a game and whoever gets off wins. Be creative, and have no expecations. Low desire in men is nothing new, but other men who feel empowered enough to speak up about their sexual appetites are an emerging breed. On the other side men are aslo being encouraged to get in touch with their feelings, and may be some of those include, “hey, I just don’t feel like having sex.” Don’t Stress Out You both just need to be open to talking and exploring each other and new things. A relationship is about constant growth and it’s important that each of you take this journey together, rather than calling it quits. Throwing in the towel is only ever an option when the other party is insensitive and unwavering. As a wise Sweet Brown once said,”Ain’t nobody got time for that!”. ARIES / M A Y 2 014 75