CONFESSIONS
“I attract crazy people.
They love me. I was on
the Muni heading to Castro, and a guy came up
and started to talk to me.
he wasn’t wearing anything except some
underwear.”
“All my lesbian friends
love my mom. I tell her
to quit wearing low-cut
shirts. But she
won’t listen.”
—Kylan N., 23, San Fran, CA
“I saw the filming of the
Show “Looking” and decided that I need to be an
extra. So I just stepped in
and tried to be in everys
shot. They knew what I
was doing and kicked me
out.”
—Steve L., 27, San Fran, CA
—Charles H., 26, San Fran, CA
Tough
Cookies
“I brought a batch of
brownies to work and made
a big deal about them, even
sending an e-mail out to the
staff. I didn’t try the brownies myself—rookie move—
and heard all day about the
“rock hard” brownies in the
kitchen. Thanks a lot,
Pintrest!”
—AMY K., 24
2 0 M A Y 2 014 / ARIES
Garbage Truck
The time was 2:36 and school had just ended. I was really
eager to leave the campus: one, because school sucks and two,
because my mom was picking me up in the ghettoest van imaginable and I didn’t want anyone to see it. Of course being the great
mother she is, she parked the hunk-a-junk right, smack dab in front
of the school where it could be seen by pretty much everyone and
their mother. no pun intended. So there I am already embarrassed
that i had to be seen in front of the piece of crap. I go to get into the
thing via the sliding door. I open the slider and it decides not to stop.
Yeah,it just kept sliding and fell off its higes all together and clunked
right onto the ground. I had to go to the wood shop and ask for a
screwdriver to fix it. It, to this very day, haunts me when I sleep.
—Tyler H., 18, Reno, Nv