April Magazine 2016 | Page 22

Talk to Tamara Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. To ask your questions go to eydismedia.com’s home page and click on Tamara’s picture, under our “Let’s Talk” section. Dear Not Happy, Wow, you are dealing with three major things all at once: a broken heart, loneliness and unhappiness. I’d like to address each one separately: YOUR BROKEN HEART by Tamara Green I’m so sorry that you are hurting. Being left for someone else is tremendously painful. I’m actually very glad to hear that you are looking to date in spite of how you feel. One of the best remedies for a broken heart is getting out there and dating again. Being open to loving someone else is key for healing. Eventually, you’ll find the man who will love you so much more than that guy ever did. YOUR LONELINESS Loneliness stems from the meaning that you are giving to being alone, or in your case, even being with others. In other words, it’s a judgment that you are making about not being in a relationship right now. TAMARA’S QUOTE OF THE MONTH “The best cure for fear is to love the one who is experiencing it.” —Tamara Green, LCSW Dear Tamara, As a single woman, I keep hearing and reading that it’s important to “be happy” since men are attracted to happy. But I’m not happy. I’m lonely. Even with a full social calendar, I’m lonely. I just want to be with this one guy who left me for another woman. When we were together, I was super happy, but he chose someone else over me. My heart has been broken, but I know it’s time to let him go and date other men. So my question is, how do I pretend to be happy when I’m not? Not Happy 22 | Eydis Magazine I once took a course called “Access Consciousness.” The founder, Gary Douglas, was talking about turning judgment, which doesn’t feel good, into awareness, which feels very good, by asking a conscious question. Before I give you the question, however, please promise yourself that you will not answer this question, but only ask it. The intention of asking this question is to lead you F