14
LESSONS, from page 12
for the work and doing it with
great dedication while learning
along the way. I have also seen
Ala grapple with the big questions of life and she has always
chosen the noble path of what is
right, kind and human.
Mio is “my only begotten son
with whom I am generally wellpleased.” I like to kid him by saying this when I introduce him to
people. Mio is a wonderful boy.
He is bright, intelligent, curious, funny, charming and knows
how to get along with just about
everyone. Sometimes, I look at
him and sing John Lennon’s
Beautiful Boy, a song he wrote
for his son Sean.
Early on, I noticed that Mio
was not too fond of schooling although he liked to read and learn
things outside the classroom setting. Mio can figure out anything he sets his mind on. I remember one night when he was
15 years old. At 11 p.m., he asked
me to teach him the lead parts of
the song Ventura Highway. He
had just picked up the guitar that
THE MESSAGE. BRINGING INTO FOCUS FILIPINO PRESENCE IN AUSTRALIA
www.kalatas.com.au | Volume 4 Number 10 | July 2014
EDITORIAL & OPINION
morning. I laughed and told him
it was way too advanced for him.
But since he insisted, I played it a
few times as he watched very intently. Soon after, I said goodnight and went to bed. He woke
me up the next day and excitedly played the song back to me
flawlessly!
He plunges his whole being
into things he loves. He likes to
dismantle stuff and put them
back together. He is also extremely creative and adept at
action and time-lapse photography.
Today, he is a tall, lanky and
handsome 25-year-old who
drives a motorcycle. I worry
about that often but so far, he
has shown great responsibility regarding safety. I have seen
him in his worst moods and in
his best. As father and son, we
share a special bond as the minority male members of the
family.
What I learned from him
is the art of letting go “without
mercy” with regards to throw-
ing away things. He saw me once
struggling about which files on
my computer I should trash and
gave me that advice. I apply it
now in many aspects of my life
be it material, emotional, intellectual, attitudinal, etc.
From my children, I have
learned a multitude of things.
They are all different and I try to
treat them as unique individuals.
They all have their own pace of
going about and figuring out life
and what’s good for them. They
are not static creatures, and their
story is always unfolding. I thank
God for that.
I read somewhere that in
highly dysfunctional families, the narratives of its members never change. Once a loser, always a loser. Things do not
change. No personal redemption ever happens. My kids are
constantly learning and evolving
and continue to surprise themselves and their parents.
As a father, I have also
learned that love is only a concept until it is applied in real situations. My children have given
me different situations to prac-
tice it often and in extremely
challenging ways.
The one thing I still have a
hard time learning is tough love,
perhaps because no parent likes
to be deprived of emotional connection from his children. But it
is precisely because I love them
that I must do it when I feel the
need to.
One also learns how to sacrifice, to delay or even give up
gratification as a pare