LIFESTYLE
Addressing Filipinos
DON'T CALL ME TITA,
PLEASE
NOT WHEN I’M AT THAT AGE
WHERE I BUY ANYTHING ANTI-AGEING
THE word “tita” means “auntie” in Filipino.
It is a term of endearment and,
more importantly, respect, in the
Philippines.
By MICHELLE BALTAZAR
I didn’t have a problem with it until … it happened to me.
I’m at that age where I’m buying anything anti-ageing.
Calling me “tita” is instantly-ageing.
If you must, you can call me “ate” (older sister). I can handle that: I might even
like it.
To get on my good side, just call me by my Christian name: Angelina. (Oh wait,
that’s someone else’s name).
The point is, whatever you do, just don’t call me tita.
It's a brutal reality check. A friend explained it to me this way:
“It is not about age. It’s about how you carry yourself as an older woman. If
you’re skinny and fashionable, you’re called by your name or at worst, ate,” he
said.
“If you are rotund (me), dress like a librarian (me) and look like you
haven’t exercised for years (also me), you are a tita!”
So now I’m not just old. I’m also fat.
Whoever said they are ageing gracefully is lying. I want to be petulant
forever. I want everyone to blame my youth when I don’t pay bills on
time. I want to wear short skirts and stay up all night eating fried
chicken.
But while I’m here, I must apologise. I want to say sorry to all the
women I have prematurely called tita and all the men I’ve prematurely
called tito (uncle). None of you deserve the pain, which I now call my
karma.
We can fix this. Here are my new rules:
RULE #1 Blood relations are exempt. If you are related
to my mom or dad, calling you tita is genuinely a term
of endearment. You know I love you, right? All this
nonsense doesn’t apply if there’s an inheritance at
stake.
RULE #2 If you’re reading this and I call you tita but
you would rather I call you ate or by your first name, I
will gladly do so.
RULE #3 If you want us to maintain the status
quo, that’s fine by me, too.
RULE #4 If you’re reading this and you’ve called
me tita in the past and we are NOT related or I
didn’t specifically ask you to call me tita, just call me
ate or by my first name.
RULE #5 If we are related and I am your auntie,
proceed as normal. Your inheritance is at stake.
Now that’s out in the open, I feel so much better.
But wait, I think I still need some Xanax. My nephew’s
daughter just called me ~ “lola”.
Oh no! “Lola” means “granny” in Filipino. n
14
NOVEMBER 2017 | AK NewsMagazine, Vol 8 No 2
www.kalatas.com.au
Celia Rodriguez is a Filipina veteran actress known for her roles as an evil step mother.