Let me ask you .

How many people have you blocked on social media because of politics ? I am not talking about trolls or people who are paid to give you a bad time . They do deserve to be blocked . I am talking of relatives , friends , acquaintances you may have been close to in varying degrees but are estranged from right now . We used to see them on our timelines and media feeds but not anymore since we do not want them there because of their views and they probably are avoiding us , too .

These are hard times . The divide caused by political differences is so deep and contentious it has spilled beyond mere politics . It is so deep some see it as a battle of conscience . It has gotten so bad that many have resorted to cutting off relationships with each other .

We sever relationships because of irreconcilable differences . Or sometimes we do so but only for a temporary period . We are hoping that things pass and differences play out until they end and we can get together again just like old times .

It is good to remind ourselves that we are certainly not all alike . We will always have differences . We are all made differently . It is to be expected . After all , even when there were only two brothers in the world , Cain killed Abel .

Now these are easy things to say . It sounds so wise and enlightened when we say them . But when bitter differences

By JIM PAREDES

emerge as they are right now , we find it hard to respond with coolness and tolerance . In the quote above , Rumi talks of that space between definitions of right and wrong , good and evil , and all other dichotomies where none of these matter . Is there such a place ?

I remember finding myself acting as a sponsor at a wedding with a politician I actually despised . I think he knew where I stood with regards to politics . I was in the exact opposite place of everything he was and what he stood for . But there we were , smiles and all . We even shook hands .

I observed him while we made shallow conversation . He was polite and seemed completely indifferent to what he knew of me . I was equally polite . Perhaps we both avoided the elephant in the room so as not to cause unpleasantness .

I was also observing myself . Here I was engaging the “ enemy ” in niceties , while secretly laughing at the awkward situation . But at the same time I was trying to open myself to see what saving grace I could find in him .

He was charming . He was genuinely funny . And he was close to the groom whom I loved dearly . That gave me a few reasons to lower my guard and look him

straight in the eye and see more of his concealed humanity . ( At least to me , it was concealed .) In short I was opening myself to that space that Rumi was talking about .

That space that Rumi mentions is an innate ability within us that can see things without judgment , bias or color . But this ability has to be awakened and developed . It is that field where we can transcend transgressions or faults . It is where we stop judging and condemning . Zen masters will say it is the state of true seeing . It is not stuck in the past or obsessed with the future . It is seeing everything fresh and new in the NOW .

Writer Eckart Tolle likes to ask , “ What can possibly be wrong with right now ?” The Present only goes wrong when contamination from the past and future come in and destroy its freshness . In reality right now is all there is . The Present is ever new and full of potential , while the past is over and the future may not even happen .

This space is where humanity stops defining , dividing and cataloguing itself according to race , nationality color , economic status , religion , sexes , etc . It is a place where our commonalities , not our differences , come alive and celebrate .

Natural compassion springs forth when hurts and cruel histories are set aside .

But does this mean that we should forget injustices and everything that is wrong in the world and just focus on the

now so we can all be happier ? I don ’ t know . I do not have enough wisdom to answer that with confidence . But let me try . Yes , we all live in the phenomenal world . Our life in this world is full of pain and pleasure , evil and good , etc . But beyond that world is where reality really is . And that reality is where that Oneness we strive for is real and achievable .

But unless more than half of humanity has awakened to the real world , the phenomenal world will carry on doing as it does . Hopefully , there are enough people right now that can keep the slow incremental evolution going towards more tolerance and love . We may soon end up in a happier , kinder place — at least enough to make us all mend fences with each other .

It has been said that a way to a man ’ s heart is through his stomach . While there are many other things I like about her , I must also agree with this saying . And my stomach agrees as well

It so happens she likes cooking and I like eating !

I am so lucky we are a great match on this . •

JIM PAREDES is a multifaceted creative . He sings , composes , writes articles and books , teaches at the Ateneo De Manila

University , designs and facilitates workshops . He is a writer of books , a widely read columnist for the Sunday Life section of Philippine Star , and a well-known photographer .