Amarantine Volume 4: Expectations! - Page 29

Step 1: Make your expectations conscious “Expectations are dangerous when they are both too high and unformed.” Lionel Shriver, We Need to Talk About Kevin If we don’t know what we are measuring ourselves against, we will likely never succeed. You cannot get to a specific destination if you don’t know what it is, or at least some of the co- ordinates of that destination. Imagine you are in a car with a passenger who you need to drop off at their destination. You go a little way, then but the friend says: “This is not where I want to go”. Try again. You go a little further, maybe take a right. Again, the friend says to you “You are not there yet”. You failed. Again, you travel further, this time you try different places, just in case. You are falling short, again. Finally, after many detours and failures, your friend says: “We are here, why didn’t you get me here in the first place?”. This is how we treat ourselves. We have unconscious expectations of:  How much we should be able to get done in a day  How well we should perform each day without fail  What we should notice or automatically remember  What emotions are associated with each expectation, especially when we don’t meet them  And so on…. For everything that you do or aim to do, Volume4 AMARANTINE 29