Amarantine Volume 4: Expectations! - Page 27

Have you ever been plagued by a sense of never being good enough? Never being the person you know you should be? Those that run like a never-ending hamster wheel at the backs of our minds. Those expectations, if we were asked to explain, we could not quite put words to. Feeling pressure that never seems to be letting up? Let’s backtrack a bit. Run off your feet yet never arriving anywhere? When you do great, when you meet your goals for the day, or achieve more than you expected, what is that like? If that is you, you might be carrying expectations of yourself that are in the main unconscious. Some people call this “perfectionist syndrome”, others call it “imposter syndrome”, yet other call it “high achiever syndrome”. And there are many other names. I call it: the disease of unconscious expectations. Why? If you have total clarity of what you expect from yourself on any given day you make empowered decisions and do the following:  Delegate  Work smarter  Reschedule  Build a roadmap or plan  Outsource  Let it go If you don’t know or only have a vague idea what you expect from yourself, you can never achieve those expectations. You will always fall short. You will always underperform. Let’s explore those unconscious expectations we have of ourselves. Those that just sit below the surface, just beyond our conscious awareness. Clients report that feel they are in the flow, on top of the world, happy, enjoying life, relaxed, at ease…..and I am sure you have your own words for this state. Internally, our brain excretes oxytocin, the feel good hormone. Oxytocin makes us expand, at ease and feel good about ourselves. It also helps us learn new things with ease and find creative solutions when things don’t go our way. Feeling good about ourselves produces more of the same feelings, and thus helps us to be more productive. Conversely, when we direct anger, disappointment or frustration at ourselves, or when we feel stressed or under pressure through our own expectations, our flight, flight or freeze response is triggered in our brain through the Amygdala. Not only does this flood our body with stress hormones, causing us to contract, potentially breathe more shallowly and reduces various organs from functioning properly. What also happens is that the centres of the brain where we make good decisions, find creative solutions and learn new things, get switched off. Our concentration and focus suffer. This means we become a Volume4 AMARANTINE 27